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Coaching for Leaders

634: The Value of Bittersweet Leadership, with Susan Cain

Coaching for Leaders

Dave Stachowiak

Education, Business, Management, Self-improvement, Careers

4.81.6K Ratings

🗓️ 12 June 2023

⏱️ 38 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Susan Cain: Bittersweet
Susan Cain is the author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, which spent seven years on The New York Times bestseller list and has been translated into 40 languages. It was named the #1 best book of the year by Fast Company, which also named Susan one of its Most Creative People in Business. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Wall Street Journal, and many other publications. Her record-smashing TED Talk has been viewed over 30 million times and was named by Bill Gates one of his all-time favorite talks.

Susan has also spoken at Microsoft, Google, the U.S. Treasury, the S.E.C., Harvard, Yale, West Point, and the US Naval Academy. She received Harvard Law School’s Celebration Award for Thought Leadership, the Toastmasters International Golden Gavel Award for Communication and Leadership, and was named one of the world’s top 50 Leadership and Management Experts by Inc. She is now also the author of the bestselling book Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole*.

We’ve all heard the value of positive thinking and aiming for happiness, but we don’t often think about the value of sorrow — and rarely in the context of leadership. In this conversation, Susan returns to the podcast to explore how the full spectrum of who we are can help us live — and lead - just a bit better.
Key Points

We espouse the value of happiness and positive thinking but don’t often recognize the value of appreciating sorrow and pain.
Words like “pain” and “suffering” tend to not show up in our workplaces, even when that’s clearly what’s being experienced. Instead, these realities are often substituted with words like “anger” or “frustration.”
Yes we should focus on our strengths, but beware of confusing a bittersweet temperament or sadness, with weakness.
Having power or feeling superior may prevent us from seeing others sadness — or even our own. Leaders who can embrace humility often find that results follow too.
The physical act of bowing can help with humility, as does capturing in writing moments of compassion (either from others or for others), as well as a focus on self-compassion.

Resources Mentioned

Preorder Bittersweet for a free book plate from Susan
Empathy: The Human Connection to Patient Care by The Cleveland Clinic
The Kindred Letters by Susan Cain

Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, with Susan Cain (episode 44)
Use Power for Good and Not Evil, with Dacher Keltner (episode 254)
Four Steps to Get Unstuck and Embrace Change, with Susan David (episode 297)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

We've all heard the value of positive thinking and aiming for happiness, but we don't often

0:05.8

think about the value of sorrow and rarely in the context of leadership.

0:11.5

On this episode, Susan Kane returns to show us how embracing the full spectrum of who

0:17.4

we are can help us live and lead just a bit better.

0:22.3

This is Coaching for Leaders, episode 634.

0:26.8

Produced by Innovate Learning, Maximizing Human Potential.

0:35.2

Greetings to you from Orange County, California.

0:38.3

This is Coaching for Leaders, and I'm your host, Dave Stahofiak.

0:42.9

Leaders are born, they're made, and this weekly show helps you discover leadership wisdom

0:49.2

through insightful conversations. I know so many of us think about the word happiness.

0:55.8

We think about it for ourselves, we also think about it for the people we lead.

1:00.0

We don't often think about the other side of the equation, and yet there is so much power

1:06.6

in thinking about the full breath of the human emotions that we experience and how we can do

1:12.7

a better job at being able to see that full breath inside not only of ourselves,

1:20.7

but also inside of our organizations. I'm so glad to welcome back to the show, Susan Kane.

1:26.7

She is the author of Quiet, the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking,

1:32.5

which spent seven years on the New York Times special or list and has been translated into

1:37.2

40 languages. It was named the number one best book of the year by Fast Company,

1:41.7

which also named Susan one of its most creative people in business. Her writing has appeared in

1:46.9

the New York Times, the Atlantic, the Wall Street Journal, and many other publications.

1:52.0

Her record-smashing TED Talk has been viewed over 30 million times and was named by Bill Gates

1:58.4

as one of his all-time favorite talks. Susan has spoken at Microsoft, Google, the US Treasury,

...

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