Hi there, welcome to the DTFH Broadcasting Live from Comedy Frequency.

Comedy Frequency exists deep beneath Austin and a hardcore military bunker.

It is the most high-tech place I've ever been.

Retna scans, security clearances must be passed.

Wild dogs, they seem wild if you don't have the correct pheromone that they

slather on your body before you come in and they will attack you but it's

worth it I understand why they're protecting it there's proprietary technology

here you think that I'm talking into a

camera that's hilarious it's not a camera friends it's a vaporous warping

mist some kind of quantum mirror device they try to explain it to me I'm not really sure how it works but all I do know is I'm happy to be here and this is where we are going to be broadcasting from for as long as I possibly can.

As you know, the times of darkness are upon us and soon none of us will be above ground,

which is why I made the choice to make my new home for the DTFH seven miles under Austin in a limestone cave filled with mysterious bones, which is really weird, because these bones,

they don't look like anything I've ever seen before.

Not only that, there's strange statues, idols, and tablets that have something

in it that I think could be ancient Sumerian.

There's weird cave paintings on the wall that seem like some kind of warning from whatever lived

down here before that we shouldn't be down here because the things that were and will be

again will destroy us if we invade their territory, but to me that's a bunch of bullshit.

I'm not afraid of superstition, and as far as I'm concerned, technology wins 100%

100% of the time.

There's a dark area in the cave

where I pissed on a necronomicon

...