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Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium

63 Jovian

Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium

Rob and Jamie

Comedy, History

4.9742 Ratings

🗓️ 27 May 2017

⏱️ 72 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Let's face it: Jovian got a bum deal. No other Roman emperor in history started off in such dire circumstances. He is deep in enemy territory, surrounded by a superior force, he has no food, no water, few horses - which are refusing to stay inflated. His men are starting to look at each other as if they are wondering just how tasty Ryanus is. The bridge can't be built, the Persians are calling them names and the elephants, well, they stink! All he has to do is get back home to Constantinople and all will be well...

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to Totalis Rankium. This week, Jovian.

0:13.0

Hello and welcome to Roman emperors to Talus Rankium.

0:26.1

I am Jamie.

0:26.8

And I'm Rob, ranking all the emperors from Augustus to Augustus.

0:30.0

This is episode 63, and this is Jovian.

0:33.4

Ooh, I've actually heard vaguely of his name.

0:36.0

Have you?

0:36.8

No, honestly, someone in the back of my head. Or maybe something to Jupiter. Possibly. Yes, some Jovian Jove. The Joveian system. Yeah. Yeah, you probably just recognise it from that. Oh. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe you will recognise some of the amazing things he does. I doubt that. I doubt that as well.

0:56.4

Yeah.

0:58.0

It's good job Amiens was on the scene to record things, otherwise this would possibly be our shortest episode yet.

1:04.0

Oh, weird.

1:05.7

As it is, it's probably going to be about medium length because we've got loads of detail.

1:09.3

Oh.

1:10.1

Yes.

1:10.4

I'm not, I haven't got high hopes now for him. Well, let's get into it, shall we? Okay. Yes, this is the last of the Constantinians. Although technically he's not really a Constantinian. Shhh. But he always gets tacked on the end just to make things neater. Yeah, even out the numbers of it. So, at the end of last week, Julian died. He did. Did. And on his deathbed, he said something along the lines of, my successor should be, someone. And then he died. It's almost like a, yeah, good luck with that. Yeah. Great. So, because we've already recorded the intro and the very handsome man said Jovian,

1:48.8

he did, yes.

1:49.4

You now know that Jovian replaces him.

1:52.3

Oh, wow, yes.

1:53.2

But let's find out how, shall we?

1:55.8

Yeah, that's, yeah.

1:57.2

Let's do this.

1:58.3

He didn't really fit in the last story anywhere, so.

...

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