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The School of Greatness

626 Marriage Secrets from a Divorce Lawyer with James Sexton

The School of Greatness

Lewis Howes

Mindset, Relationships, Entrepreneurship, Mental Health, Education, Greatness, Fitness, Celebrity, Health, Inspiration, Success, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Business, Money, Self Care, Celebrity Interview

4.822K Ratings

🗓️ 11 April 2018

⏱️ 82 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

“THIS IS THE MOST LEGALLY SIGNIFICANT THING YOU WILL DO, OTHER THAN DYING.” Marriage is something that is so important to people. In fact, you probably thought about what your wedding would be like as a child. When people go into a marriage they think so much about their venue, their cake, their guest list -- but they never really think about what they are signing up for. Marriage is, legally, one of the most important things you can do. You are signing away half of your life. And there’s nothing wrong with that - if it’s the right person. On this episode of The School of Greatness, I brought on someone who knows so much about people being with the wrong person and how to set yourself up for a great marriage: NYC divorce attorney James Sexton. James has intentionally focused his practice on divorce and family law since his graduation from Fordham Law School. In addition to his Juris Doctorate (Law Degree) he has a Master of Arts degree from New York University where he focused his graduate research on the areas of persuasive speech and propaganda studies. To top it all off, James is the author of the incredibly informative book on marriage, If You’re in My Office, You’re Already Too Late. On this episode he discusses how a lot of people rush into a serious relationship without ironing out all of the details. He shares the insights he’s learned from thousands upon thousands of failed marriages. And he shared why he still believes marriage is a good idea. Learn all of the inside secrets to creating a successful marriage, on Episode 626. Some Questions I Ask: Have there been any clients that were going to get a divorce then decided not to? (9:28) What is the technology of marriage? (10:35) What training would you want people to go through before getting married? (17:12) How long were you married for? (23:24) Do you feel like when marriage gets rough that they should throw in the towel or work through it? (27:36) What are the most important things to find out about your spouse before getting married? (32:08) When a couple is disconnected, what can they do to reconnect? (35:32) What are the top 3 reasons people get divorced? (38:56) What’s the best way to handle financial stress? (40:47) What is the real reason people cheat? (45:48) What does the government dictate in a marriage? (56:47) Would you ever get married again? (1:05:21) Is there a marriage you’ve seen that you admire a lot? (1:13:23) In This Episode You Will Learn: Why people tell more to their lawyers than their therapists (7:29) The real failure rate of marriages (13:16) What inspired James to write his book (20:45) When one client realized her marriage was over (30:02) The thing James loves about divorce law (34:36) The best thing people can do to solve their problems (38:15) The history of marriage (42:00) How to keep your sex life satisfying (49:54) The importance of a prenup (1:00:18) James’ marriage advice to his kids (1:11:06)

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is episode number six two six with James sexton

0:05.7

Welcome to the school of greatness my name is Lewis Howe's former pro athlete turn lifestyle entrepreneur and each week

0:13.8

We bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness

0:20.8

Thanks for spending some time with me today now let the class begin

0:30.8

Matthew Hussey said that 50% of great relationships is how you treat someone the other 50% is

0:37.8

Having the ability and confidence to communicate the treatment you want in return

0:43.0

We have a special guest on his name is James sexton and he has a trial lawyer with two decades of experience

0:52.2

Negotiating and litigating high conflict divorces now

0:57.0

I'm actually fascinated by this because it's so interesting to me how much a marriage actually and the relationship between our parents actually

1:07.7

Creates who we become you know the energy they put off what we see them mimicking all the patterns that we see from our parents and

1:16.8

Their marriage whether it's good, bad or in between we start to mimic those along our childhood and into our adulthood

1:24.7

Now James is the new author of the book if you're in my office

1:28.5

It's already too late and after dealing with over 1,000 clients whose marriages have dissolved over everything from an ill-advised

1:36.7

Threesome with the nanny to an uneven division of carpool duties. Yes, that's true

1:42.4

He also knows all of the what not to do's for couples who want to build and

1:47.9

Consistently work to preserve a lasting fulfilling relationship

1:53.2

So this is advice from someone who's seen it all of where a thousand divorces go through and what works

2:00.6

What doesn't work and why they all end up failing once they come to his office and what we talk about today are why divorce

2:08.8

Attorneys get more of the truth from clients than actual therapists do because as attorneys

2:15.1

You actually have to share and reveal everything where as therapists you may hold back some things

2:20.4

Also the training that every couple should go through before getting married and this is extremely important and why we aren't

2:27.6

Encouraged to be honest about our feelings also what to do when marriage

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