625: How to Release Some Control, with Morra Aarons-Mele

Coaching for Leaders

Dave Stachowiak

Education, Business, Management, Self-improvement, Careers

4.8 • 1.6K Ratings

🗓️ 10 April 2023

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Morra Aarons-Mele: The Anxious Achiever Morra Aarons-Mele is the host of The Anxious Achiever, a top-10 management podcast that helps people rethink the relationship between their mental health and their leadership. Morra founded Women Online and The Mission List, an award-winning digital-consulting firm and influencer marketing company dedicated to social change, in 2010 and sold her business in 2021. She helped Hillary Clinton log on for her first internet chat and has launched digital campaigns for President Obama, Malala Yousafzai, the United Nations, the CDC, and many other leading figures and organizations. She is the author of The Anxious Achiever: Turn Your Biggest Fears into Your Leadership Superpower*. In this conversation, Morra and I discuss some key tactics that help leaders release just a bit of control. Since control is often driven by fear, we can let go of some control by making small shifts in our practices, awareness, and planning. We also explore how to set boundaries that will help us lead in ways that are more helpful to others — and ourselves. Key Points Control is often caused by fear. Optimism can be a bit of an antidote to it. Adopt a practice mindset by making small shifts to endure uncomfortable things. Practice open awareness throughs surrender; the opposite of controlling and micromanaging. Get clear on scheduling, deadlines, longer term career goals. Those provide a healthy illusion of control. Create a distinction between having an emotion and being the emotion. Begin setting boundaries by noticing when you are moving from comfort to discomfort. Resources Mentioned The Anxious Achiever: Turn Your Biggest Fears into Your Leadership Superpower* by Morra Aarons-Mele The Anxious Achiever podcast Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes Four Steps to Get Unstuck and Embrace Change, with Susan David (episode 297) Effective Delegation of Authority, with Hassan Osman (episode 413) Align Your Calendar to What Matters, with Nir Eyal (episode 431) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Transcript

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0:00.0	I've had several conversations with members this week about control.
0:05.7	Most of us know that trying to control everything in leadership is bound to backfire, and yet
0:11.8	a lot of us struggle to let some things go.
0:15.2	In this episode, the starting point to release a bit of that control.
0:20.2	This is Coaching for Leaders, episode 625.
0:29.5	Greetings to you from Orange County, California.
0:36.1	This is Coaching for Leaders, and I'm your host, Dave Stahofiak.
0:40.8	Leaders aren't born, they're made.
0:43.2	And this weekly show helps you discover leadership wisdom through insightful conversations.
0:49.4	One area that many of us struggle with as leaders is control, sometimes controlling a bit
0:55.0	too much.
0:56.0	It's not wanting to let others take over, and of course, sometimes the anxiety that comes
1:02.0	with control.
1:03.0	I'm so glad today to welcome a guest expert that's going to help us look at control in a way
1:08.9	that helps us to get beyond it a bit, maybe release a little bit of control that we otherwise
1:14.3	may keep.
1:15.3	That's not helping us to lead.
1:16.3	Well, it's not helping us to move our organizations forward.
1:20.0	So pleased to introduce to you, Mora Arendt's Mealy.
1:22.5	She is the host of the Anxious Achiever, a top 10 management podcast that helps people
1:27.2	rethink the relationship between their mental health and their leadership.
1:31.9	Mora founded Women Online and the Mission List, an award-winning digital consulting firm,
	...

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