#622 No, my tears taste like intelligence. Something you are missing. (preview)
Minion Death Cult
Alexander Edward
4.4 • 652 Ratings
🗓️ 22 May 2024
⏱️ 4 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
TODAY: Mark Wahlberg and Clint Eastwood decide to form their own NON-WOKE Hollywood… according to viral misinformation campaigns on Facebook.
A local news channel covers this trend of putting “satirical” red meat in front of right-wing audiences to get clicks, and conservatives attack the news outlet for shaming “free-thinkers.”
PLUS: NFL kicker Harrison Butler gives an Andrew Tate-style commencement speech about how society is making men gay and how most of the graduating women are “probably” fantasizing about being housewives and mothers. (100% fact-checked by Patriots)
FINALLY: Racists freak out about a (historically accurate) black samurai in the new Assassin’s Creed video game. Is this the historical realism we’ve come to expect from a game about teleporting into your ancestor’s brains to get a magical staff from Pythagoras??
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The liberals are destroying California and conservative humor gone array. |
| 0:07.0 | Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascist phoia today. |
| 0:11.0 | So stay tuned. We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up. |
| 0:18.0 | It's not beautiful when you go across that corner. Stay tuned, guys. We'll |
| 0:22.3 | show you exactly what it looks like when you're a little, just with this. All there are remarkable |
| 0:31.5 | stuff. Take me. |
| 0:36.4 | What if, like, you don't like seeing sex on screen and you like the implied sex because the sex end up having isn't nearly as freaky as you wanted to be? |
| 0:44.3 | So you want to like, you want to imagine freakier sex? |
| 0:47.3 | Right. |
| 0:48.1 | And it gets ruined when they just show it like, you know, movie visionary. |
| 0:51.9 | My imagination is wilder than anything A24 could show me. |
| 0:58.0 | John Whited said, |
| 1:01.0 | it would be nice to see a good movie with a good story |
| 1:04.0 | and without all the woke boxes checked. |
| 1:06.0 | Mary Simpson says, God is opening some of Hollywood's eyes. |
| 1:10.0 | Thank you, Jesus. |
| 1:13.3 | Renee Blue, I hope you are correct about this. We need to see some fabulous filming right here |
| 1:18.3 | in the, and then it cuts off. But fabulous filming. |
| 1:22.5 | Fabulous filming. Where did all the fabulous filming go? |
| 1:25.9 | Fabulous filming has gone out the window. |
| 1:28.5 | That's what that's the problem with, you know, Marvel. |
| 1:30.8 | Like Marvel, there's no fabulous filming in Marvel. |
... |
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