620 - Is Youssef Zalal Real?
Heavy Hands
Connor Ruebusch
4.8 • 541 Ratings
🗓️ 23 April 2026
⏱️ 69 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Youssef Zalal is either the next featherweight contender, or the most convincing optical illusion ever devised.
Breathing a sigh of relief that at least Patricio Pitbull didn't die for nothing in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands
Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u
CONTENTS:
00:00 Intro
4:17 Sterling vs Zalal
25:56 Burns vs Malott
38:08 Jourdain vs Phillips
48:59 Jackson vs Barcelos
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Here's the latest thing my for U-Tap has thrown up. |
| 0:02.7 | Oh God, let's see. |
| 0:03.4 | Stephen Seagall on Tom Cruise being in the last samurai. They have a five-foot two-inch little guy, whether he was straight or gay. I don't know. He never been to Japan. He doesn't speak Japanese. He's never held a sword. They make him the last samurai. I was raised in Japan. I was schooled in martial arts. I was given the title of master. |
| 0:23.4 | We got 450. came the last samurai. I was raised in Japan. I was schooled in martial arts. |
| 0:21.5 | I was given the title of master. |
| 0:23.4 | We got 450,000 phone calls from everybody in the world saying, |
| 0:27.6 | that role was perfect for you. |
| 0:29.1 | How did that happen? |
| 0:30.4 | Most of the people I know don't like the film. |
| 0:32.5 | I didn't go see it. |
| 0:33.7 | It's just a classic example of Hollywood and the politics. |
| 0:39.7 | They should have cast Stephen Seagal as the Anjin in Shogun. |
| 0:45.5 | He should have been John Blackthorn. |
| 0:48.7 | I thought the last samurai kind of sucked, |
| 0:51.0 | to be honest, |
| 0:52.5 | it would have been even better with Steven Seagullin. |
| 0:55.6 | I feel like I fucking belong in the Japans. |
| 1:01.8 | I'm about to teach you motherfuckers a little something about naval combat. |
| 1:06.9 | You got to, your Steven Seagal was good, but you have to do a little more offensive sort of black kind of. |
| 1:12.1 | Yeah, you have to be like either black or like, like, yeah, either black or Texan, despite the fact that. |
| 1:20.4 | Yeah, depending on. |
| 1:21.3 | Yeah, depending on. |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Connor Ruebusch, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Connor Ruebusch and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.