Bret McKay here and welcome to another edition of the Art of Manliness Podcast.

We've all asked what if questions about our life, what if I'd majored in art instead

of business, what if I'd let my best friend know I liked her more than a friend, or what

if I'd taken that job off her in Colorado.

Sometimes contemplating the imagined possibilities of these alternative histories fills us with

sharp pangs of regret.

My guest day says that's not necessarily a bad thing.

His name is Neil Roast and he's a professor of psychology and marketing in the author

of If Only, How to Turn Regret Into Opportunity.

Neil and I begin our conversation by unpacking how asking what if is to engage in something

called counterfactual thinking and how you can create downward counterfactuals in which

you imagine how a decision could have turned out worse or an upward counterfactual.

If we imagine how a decision could have turned out better, Neil then explains why living

without regret isn't actually that healthy and why even though regret is an unpleasant

feeling, it can be an important spur towards greater improvement, action, and agency.

We then do get into the certain sense of which regret become a negative force before

turning to what Neil's research says are the most common regrets people have in life.

At the end of our conversation, we pivoted talking about how imagine your life could

have turned out worse can actually make you feel happier.

Out of the shows over, check out our show notes at aam.is slash regret.

Neil joins now via clearcast.io.

Neil Rose, welcome to the show.

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