Turn out that everything I've been doing is totally wrong.

I'm Antelod Duckworth.

I'm Stephen Dubner.

And you're listening to no stupid questions.

Today on the show, how do you escape the destructive allure of a drama triangle?

Refrain from the following, blaming, criticizing, accusing, lecturing, scolding, monitoring,

threatening, preaching, obsessing, overreacting, or underreacting.

Also, do awards actually improve performance?

I feel appreciated.

I don't know who the runner-up is, but, you know, too bad for you.

Angela, I recently came across something called the drama triangle, also known as the

Carpeman triangle, since it was created by the psychiatrist Stephen Carpeman.

Can you explain the Carpeman triangle and why it's worth knowing about?

I find it more useful to refer to as the drama triangle, because it is dramatic.

And this is how I know about it, Stephen.

It's not because I'm a psychologist, but because I run a little nonprofit called Character

Lab, as you know.

And when I was a green leader, I, even in a small team, had this phenomenon where one person

would not like another person, and then how do you make a triangle?

Who's the third point?

The third point was me.

So disgruntled employee number one would come to me and say, hey, I don't really like employee

...