Hi, hello. Welcome to Mary's Cup of Tea, the self-love podcast for women. Though all self-lovers are welcome here. I'm Mary. I write and speak about self-love and I'm best known for my book, The Gift of Self-love, and I also host retreats for women. And this is the podcast that will inspire you to love yourself. Real quick, before we dive in,

I want to make sure you know about my book, The Gift of Self-Love. It's a workbook to help you

build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to love who you are. It's available anywhere

books are sold. Thousands of people have it, love it, and have told me that it is greatly benefited their

self-love journey, and I hope it'll do the same for you. And now let's get into the podcast.

I think when I see internet content around self-love, it's kind of split into two camps.

The first camp is like really radical self-acceptance. It's like

you don't need to do anything to fix yourself. Self-love is just about existing as you are. And I

completely agree with that. But then there's another camp where people say self-love is about

becoming the best version of yourself, about the glow-up,

about who you see yourself to be and who you want to become. And at first, for a long time,

I felt so torn because there's times where I need that energy of like, I just want to exist

and be and not feel like I have to change myself after so many years of, like, I just want to exist and be and not feel like I have to change myself after so many years

of, like, toxic self-improvement, specifically when it comes to, like, image appearance. But then

there's times where I get this energy and motivation where I'm like, I know I can't do better.

I know I have some, some goals, some aspirations,

and I want to chase those dreams. And I want to be this version of myself that I, you know,

yearn for in my mind. And any time you find yourself comparing yourself to somebody else,

that's just a little sign that you see your potential

or maybe your unlived potential in that person too. So self-love to me is simultaneously

about returning home to yourself, knowing that you don't need fixing, kind of unlearning a lot of societal

conditions. And there is a part where self-love involves creating a new sense of self. Self-love is both

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