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First Name Basis Podcast

6.4: Say This, Not That When Someone Comes Out To You

First Name Basis Podcast

Jasmine Bradshaw

How To, Parenting, Education, Kids & Family

5629 Ratings

🗓️ 7 June 2022

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When a family member or friend chooses to come out to you, it is an extremely vulnerable moment for them, and how you respond is so important. 

You may find yourself wondering what should you say that’s affirming and loving — and what should you avoid saying that can be harmful.

This week on the podcast, we have Elena Joy Thurston to help talk us through how we can be better allies to our LGBTQ friends, family and neighbors.

Elena Joy is a member of the LGBTQ community and the executive director and founder of the Pride and Joy Foundation, an organization dedicated to reducing the rate of suicide and homelessness in the LGBTQ community by empowering parents and community members with the information and tools they need to be advocates. She also spends a lot of her time giving presentations and workshops about LGBTQ inclusion through her organization Elena Joy Experience.

In this episode, Elena Joy teaches us:

  • Tips about things to say and do when someone comes out to you.
  • Things to avoid when someone comes out to you.
  • What straight people can do to help create safe communities for LGBTQ people.
  • Why Pride Month is important and how families can celebrate.

Having Elena Joy on the podcast to share her insight, wisdom and heart was truly a joy, and I hope you take the time to listen and learn from her as well.

 

Juneteenth Jubilee

Juneteenth is coming up next month, and we have an exciting program to help you celebrate! Juneteenth Jubilee is our brand-new program that gives you everything you need to have a meaningful Juneteenth celebration dinner.

It includes a cookbook, a cooking show with my dad, a meal planner, reflection questions and more! Trust me, this is something your family is going to want — both for the yummy food and for the impactful conversations. 

The program is available now! So click here to invest in this resource to create a meaningful celebration for your family!

Don’t forget to use the code LOVING15 for $15 off your purchase until 6/13/22!

 

Send in your Loving Day submissions!

Loving Day is coming up on June 12th, and I want to celebrate with you!

Loving Day is the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision that made interracial marriage for heterosexual couples legal in all 50 states, and I want to make an episode about the significance of Loving Day to those of us in interracial relationships. This means everyone — LGBTQ, straight, dating, married — anyone who loves someone who is a different race than their own.

What I need you to do is record a voice memo that includes three things:

  1. Your name
  2. Where you are from
  3. And the answer to one question: What does Loving Day mean to you?

Send the voice memo to [email protected] with “Loving Day” in the subject line. If you’d like to include a picture, I would love to share your pictures on Instagram on Loving Day.

The deadline for submissions is June 8, 2022.

I can’t wait to hear from you!

 

Articles, Studies & Podcasts Referenced in the Episode

Elena Joy Thurston’s Instagram account @elenajoyspeaks

Elena Joy Thurston’s Ted Talk “Conversion Therapy Almost Took My Life, Mindfulness Saved It”

Pride and Joy Foundation’s Instagram account @pridejoyfoundation

Pride and Joy Foundation website

Elena Joy Experience website

Pride and Less Prejudice, an organization dedicated to providing access to LGBTQ inclusive books

The Trevor Project

Find your state’s nonprofit LGBTQ advocate group. Many of them are named “Equality (insert the name of your state),” such as Equality Utah, Equality California, etc. 

Check out our LGBTQ Pride bookshelf on the First Name Basis Bookshop. We linked all the books Elena Joy mentioned in the episode there and many more.

 

Song Credit: “Sleeper” by Steve Adams” and “Dive Down” by VYEN

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

You're listening to the First Name Basis podcast, season six, episode four. Say this, not that,

0:07.7

when someone comes out to you with Elena Joy Thurston. Teaching our children to be inclusive and

0:20.8

anti-racist starts with us within the sacred walls of our home.

0:25.9

First-name basis is designed to empower you with the confidence you need to be a leader in your family and a changemaker in your community.

0:33.9

Together, we will wrestle with hard questions and use the answers to create the world we want,

0:40.0

a world that reflects our values of inclusion, compassion, and courage.

0:45.3

I'm your host, Jasmine Bradshaw, and I am so excited to be on this journey with you.

0:53.0

Hello, First Name Basis fam.

0:55.2

I am so glad you are here.

0:58.4

And happy pride.

0:59.5

I'm so excited to be celebrating Pride Month.

1:01.7

I always tell my husband Carter that our kiddos are so lucky to have two sets of gay

1:07.2

aunts who love the crap out of them.

1:09.6

And we love the crap out of them right back.

1:12.7

I'm just so excited for this episode because I learned a lot and one of the things that

1:19.2

Elena Joy Thurston shares in the episode, I actually, well, a mistake that you should avoid is

1:24.4

something that I did to her before we started recording. And so I'm really

1:29.0

grateful for the opportunities to learn and to change and to grow and to be a better ally and a

1:35.3

better accomplice. So I hope that this episode is really helpful for you. Let me tell you about it,

1:39.4

I guess, first before I go into how fantastic it is. So I had the opportunity to interview Elena Joy Thurston,

1:47.1

and she is an LGBTQ speaker, trainer, and the founder of the Pride and Joy Foundation.

1:54.2

And the Pride and Joy Foundation is an organization that is committed to reducing suicide and

...

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