Next Thursday is the first 2024 presidential debate between President Biden and former President Trump,

which means we're just one week away from finding out who falls asleep on stage?

Well, I guess we'll find out on Thursday.

Sleepy Joe's up at Camp David now.

He's in an iron lung with a privygen IV drip,

going, you know, that helps your brain function.

Maybe some speed, too.

I have to get John F. Kennedy's Dr. Fieldgood out of the modern age.

Pumped Joe Biden full of stuff that'll perk him up.

He does have a chair. He's going to sit down through the entire debate and it's a three-on, a gang situation the left loves it that way.

Former Democrat Capitol Hill Staffer, Jake Tapper, who famously dated Monica Lewinsky.

I gave Monica Lewinsky a ride home from work but I did not date her.

I traveled to some remote corners of the world with Monica Lewinsky aboard US Air Force airplanes

but we did not date just for the record.

She did give me a box of White House M&M's one time.

You know, they melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

Yes, they do.

I brought them home through them to my best girl.

The White House M&M's.

Hate him right away. but that's not important.

Now, then you got, of course, Dana Bash, whose ex-husband, Y-husband,

X-husband, one of the signatories to the Philonius 51 letter lying about Hunter Biden's laptop,

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