meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Coaching for Leaders

595: How to Deal With Passive-Aggressive People, Amy Gallo

Coaching for Leaders

Dave Stachowiak

Education, Business, Management, Self-improvement, Careers

4.81.6K Ratings

🗓️ 19 September 2022

⏱️ 40 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Amy Gallo: Getting Along Amy Gallo is an expert in conflict, communication, and workplace dynamics. She combines the latest management research with practical advice to deliver evidence-based ideas on how to improve relationships and excel at work. In her role as a contributing editor at Harvard Business Review, Amy writes about interpersonal dynamics, communicating ideas, leading and influencing people, and building your career. Amy is co-host of HBR's Women at Work podcast and author of both the HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict and Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People)*. In this conversation, Amy and I discuss one of the most common questions she receives from leaders: how do I handle a colleague who’s passive aggressive? We examine what causes this behavior, how to respond to it, and what to avoid that could worsen the relationship. Plus, we discuss the intention that leaders can bring in responding to passive-aggressive behavior that will help everybody move forward. Key Points Don’t use the “passive-aggressive behavior” to label someone. It rarely helps and often results in more defensiveness. Focus on the other person’s underlying concern or question rather than how they are expressing it. Not everyone is able to discuss thoughts and feelings openly. Consider doing hypothesis testing to determine what’s next. Language like, “Here’s the story I’m telling myself…” can help everyone move forward without assigning blame. When making a direct request, stick to the facts. Review past behavior like you’re a referee vs. a fan. Artificial harmony is a danger spot for teams and leaders. Setting norms can help to reduce passive-aggressive behavior. Resources Mentioned Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People)* by Amy Gallo Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes The Way to Have Conversations That Matter, with Celeste Headlee (episode 344) Four Habits That Derail Listening, with Oscar Trimboli (episode 500) How to Prepare for Conflict, with Amy Gallo (episode 530) The Way to Get People Talking, with Andrew Warner (episode 560) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

That passive-aggressive person at work might be driving you nuts, but they probably aren't

0:05.8

intending to make things difficult.

0:08.5

In this episode, what to know about passive-aggressive behavior and more importantly, how to deal

0:14.8

with it in helpful ways?

0:16.9

This is Coaching for Leaders, Episode 595.

0:21.4

Produced by Innovate Learning, Maximizing Human Potential.

0:29.8

Greetings to you from Orange County, California.

0:32.4

This is Coaching for Leaders, and I'm your host, Dave Stahofiak.

0:37.1

Leaders aren't born, they're made.

0:39.5

And this weekly show helps you discover leadership wisdom through insightful conversations.

0:45.7

One of the more difficult situations that, almost all of us deal with at some level in

0:51.9

our work and in our personal lives too, is how do we handle passive-aggressive behavior?

0:58.2

It's a challenge we all run into, also some of us sometimes do that ourselves as well.

1:04.4

How do we actually navigate that well, not only in the workplace, but also in so many

1:09.8

of the relationships we have in our lives?

1:12.0

Today I'm glad to welcome back to the show, someone who's an expert at conflict, communication

1:17.5

and workplace dynamics, and will help us to really navigate this so effectively.

1:22.5

I'm so glad to welcome back Amy Gallo.

1:25.0

She combines the latest management research with practical advice to deliver evidence-based

1:30.2

ideas on how to improve relationships and excel at work.

1:34.4

She is a contributing editor at Harvard Business Review and writes about interpersonal dynamics,

1:39.8

communicating ideas, leading and influencing people and building your career.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Dave Stachowiak, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Dave Stachowiak and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.