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As we enter the new year, I've been reflecting upon which dating royalty will return to the Love Island villa.

Lovers from across the land will be hoping they get the call to be a Love Island All-Star

and share values of kindness, compassion and snogging.

I urge them to love thy neighbour on the next Sun Lounger

and hope that come January 13th on ITB2 and ITBX, love will reign supreme. Man, you are one pathetic loser.

If you just read the bio for Dr. Steve,

host of weird medicine on Sirius XM103,

and made popular by two really comedy shows,

Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez,

you would have thought that this guy was a bit of, you know, a clown.

Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to?

I've got diphtheria crushing my esophagus.

I've got Zabola Vibripping from my nose.

I've got the leprosy of the heartbound, exacerbating my infertiful wounds.

I want to take my brain out, blasts with the wave, an ultrasonic, ecographic, and a pulsitating shave.

I want a magic pill for all my ailments, the health equivalent of citizen cane.

...