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This American Life

587: The Perils of Intimacy

This American Life

This American Life

Society & Culture, News, Politics, Arts

4.688.8K Ratings

🗓️ 31 March 2024

⏱️ 65 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Mysteries that exist in relationships we thought couldn't possibly surprise us.

  • Prologue: Ira talks to Rachel Rosenthal, who spent years trying to figure out who had stolen her identity. She was closing bank account after bank account, getting more and more paranoid, until she realized she knew exactly who the thief was. (5 minutes)
  • Act One: Ira’s conversation with Rachel Rosenthal continues. She tells the story of why it took her so long to break up with her boyfriend, even after she figured out that he had stolen from her. We heard about Rachel's story via the podcast Risk! (9 minutes)
  • Act Two: Producer Neil Drumming conducts an experiment to find out: can two adults, both new in town, become friends, with the right help? (16 minutes)
  • Act Three: Comedian Kyle Mizono, in a live performance, tells about the time she met her hero, spent a week working with him every day, and it went really well. And then, she emailed him. (10 minutes)
  • Act Four: A short story by Lydia Davis about trying to calculate the cost of a love affair. The story is read by actor Matt Malloy. (12 minutes)

Transcripts are available at thisamericanlife.org

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Rachel was identity thefted.

0:03.0

And at first it was the kind of thing that you hear about.

0:05.0

Money was vanishing from her bank account and it turned out to be some charges and ATM withdrawals that she hadn't made herself.

0:11.0

So she found this out, but she figured, okay call the bank explain the situation they'll take care of it

0:16.4

She even figured out how it probably happened she'd been visiting friends in Chicago sitting at a coffee shop and

0:22.1

This guy walked in wearing a windbreaker and sat sort of at the table next to us.

0:27.0

And at one point he just kind of brushed against me and I had my purse actually hanging over the chair and it wasn't until like after he had left and I went to pay that I realized that my wallet was gone.

0:41.0

But you just thought that was something

0:47.2

you could do with that.

0:49.2

So she goes and closes out her bank account, so we just do a different bank. Same thing happens. Money just

0:54.7

starts disappearing. And she goes through several banks this way. It's like a game of

0:59.6

bankamole. Wherever money goes, the identity thief arrives.

1:04.0

I was like, I don't really know what else I can do.

1:06.0

I closed everything.

1:08.0

It really started to freak her out.

1:10.0

For money to just, you know, keep vanishing.

1:12.0

Inexplicably, out of her control.

1:15.0

I started to become just a very paranoid person all the time.

1:19.0

Like after, you know, this had been happening for a year or two, I was just like very anxious all the time. There was one

1:26.1

point where I thought that my mail was being stolen because I was like how else is this happening?

1:31.5

So I got a PO box and I got to the point where I thought someone was following me. Like I was just so paranoid that I would like try to find alternate routes to get to my PO box so that I don't know. They can figure out where your P.O. Box is.

1:45.9

Yeah. Pack your P. O. BOC. Yeah. I mean, it sounds so crazy looking back. To be honest, I didn't have that much money.

...

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