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Happiness Podcast

#585 The Kindness Filter: Where to Look When People Are Mean

Happiness Podcast

Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D.

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.5 • 955 Ratings

🗓️ 1 May 2026

⏱️ 11 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Have you ever had one of those days where it feels like the whole world woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and everyone you interact with is just a little bit rude? This past weekend, I had an experience at a restaurant where I was surrounded by unkindness, until one stranger stepped in and completely changed the trajectory of my day. In this episode, we are going to talk about the magic of shifting our focus away from the people who drain us, and actively seeking out the smiling faces that the Universe always provides.

New Episode of the Happiness Podcast with Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D., Newport Beach Clinical Psychologist

🎧 Listen now at https://www.HappinessPodcast.org

Do you want to live a peaceful, happy life? Are you struggling with anxiety or depression? Or are you simply ready to take the next step toward your full potential?

Join Dr. Robert Puff, a licensed clinical psychologist with over 30 years of experience, on the Happiness Podcast. With over 20 million downloads, the podcast explores the specific actions you can take to create lasting happiness.

A licensed psychologist in Newport Beach, California and author of 15 books, Dr. Puff has spent decades studying human achievement and sharing what he's learned. He wants to help you learn the steps you need to take to soar in your own life.

His blog for Psychology Today has captivated nearly 3 million readers, establishing him as a leading thinker in mental wellness.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the Happiness Podcast. I'm Dr. Robert Puff. This past weekend I went up to Los Angeles and was visiting a beautiful museum and gardens. I've been there many times before and it's so lovely. And they have a very nice cafeteria-style restaurant where you walk through and pick out things that you want. Well, there must

0:22.1

have been something in the air that day because it wasn't my best experience. I've eaten there

0:27.1

probably 15, 20 times before and never had anything like this happened before. So I don't know

0:33.0

what was going on, but something was going on. The people serving me, I think were just having a really

0:39.1

bad day that day, because they were just unkind. I'd ask a question, and they'd scowl at me.

0:45.8

I'd try to order something, and they'd said I was doing it wrong. Like I said, I don't know what was

0:50.4

happening, but there was definitely negative energy in that cafeteria that day.

0:55.5

And I was remaining quiet, not saying anything back because I don't think that's healthy.

1:00.2

But I don't know if you know it. I do intermittent fasting, so I hadn't eaten much that day and it'd

1:05.2

been a long time since I've eaten, so I was hungry. I was around all this wonderful food and couldn't wait to sit down and eat it.

1:13.0

And because of my interactions with the people behind the counter, I was having a hard time just

1:17.2

getting my food. Well, finally, I almost make it to the finish line and I'm checking out.

1:22.3

And again, I'm bombarded by negativity. So I finally get through. I make it through the line, and the cashier

1:29.4

calls me back, saying she forgot to charge something that was obviously on my tray. So out of nowhere,

1:35.6

this lady comes up to me and says, do you know what I do when I'm around a lot of negativity?

1:40.9

I find the smiles in the room and focus on them.

1:44.5

I didn't know who she was or how she knew what was going on, but she had observed what

1:48.9

was going on and came to my rescue just by telling me, she saw it, she saw that what they

1:54.6

were doing wasn't kind, and she offered me a suggestion to make my day go better.

2:00.2

What she suggested wasn't new to me,

2:03.0

but it was so kind. And after I ate my meal and left the restaurant, I was so happy,

2:10.0

I almost started crying because I was so thankful God had brought that lady into my life.

...

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