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Regular Features

582: It's a Box of Oats

Regular Features

Regular Features

Comedy

4.9546 Ratings

🗓️ 29 December 2024

⏱️ 48 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Come and get your oats, mother. I have prepared the oats for thee. They are in the garage, mother. I have set the oats on the floor, behind the Citroen. Pay no heed to the engine noise, mama. Consume the oats and be satisfied. Oh mother, it is dark behind the Citroen. Allow me to illuminate your meal of oats with the car's reversing lights. No, I will not crush you under the Citroen, mother. I would not dare. I am saddened that you would even suggest such foulness. Aha! I am crushing you now, mother. I will have what is coming to me. What I deserve. My inheritance of oats! The oats will be mine! In this episode, Steve acquires the deed to a platinum mine, Log defends his pub from amateur Christmas boozers, and Joe addresses the bag of wheat in the room. Happy Christmas!

Transcript

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0:00.0

Regular regular regular features.

0:01.9

A regular regular regular features.

0:04.0

A regular regular features.

0:05.7

A regular features are show.

0:07.6

With the sound of Steve's coughing, fading away.

0:13.7

Don't include that.

0:14.7

It's time for regular features.

0:16.9

Your weekly dose of fun from me, John Blythe.

0:20.4

And me, Steve Hoggartag. Blobbly dope. What a lot of fun from me, John Blythe. And me, Steve Hoggachey. Blobbly Dob.

0:23.9

What a lot of fun we've got planned for you tonight. What have you got for us today, Steve, baby?

0:27.7

Well, I've got a little Christmas feature from the very depths of cramblemas. I've got a little

0:34.0

Christmas quiz that will let you find out whether you are an annoying fart at the bar on Christmas.

0:40.0

Or are you one of two other very different things?

0:44.0

Take the quiz, find out.

0:45.6

And hypothetically, if Joe were to join us soon, what do you think he'd have, Steve?

0:51.3

I think he'd have a little visit from a Latin friend.

0:58.0

Guitar playing Latino, star of stage and music.

1:05.0

Well, that's something definitely worth weeting for.

1:08.7

Oh, have I ruined a surprise? Oh, I always do this at Christmas. I tell me what they've got. You tell people what they've got. Yeah, I just run up to them. It's like, it's a PlayStation. Yeah, you've got you that. You'll hate it because I put no thought into it. It's a sausage. Smell, smell, smell the well, smell the well.

1:27.8

Smell, smell the well.

1:32.1

Regular features, regular features.

1:36.2

The podcast that is the same every week.

...

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