Welcome to the Happiness Podcast. I'm Dr. Robert Puff. Years ago, during my clinical internship at the VA hospital, I worked with the man who had spent most of his adult life in prison. When he was finally released, he was terrified. The freedom that you and I live with every single day was just too much for him.

He wanted to go back to prison, where he felt safe, where he felt secure.

Outwardly, I was very kind with him, but inwardly, I was shocked. I couldn't believe he wanted

to go back to prison. In this episode, we're going to

explore why human beings are so deeply wired to choose familiar misery over the terrifying unknown

and how to finally step out of the invisible cages we built for ourselves. The man at the VA hospital was young, I would

guess, around 30 years old. He had his whole life ahead of him, but the outside world lacked

the rigid, predictable structure of his cell. He had become institutionalized. He knew the rules

of his cage. He knew the rules of his cage.

He knew when to eat, when to sleep, and who the threats were.

For him, freedom meant having to make choices, and because his heart hadn't become completely

bitter, he still cared for other people, and he didn't want to hurt anyone during his freedom. So that responsibility was paralyzing.

At that time, I was still young to my practice as a psychologist,

so his words just shocked me.

But over the years I learned, we often prefer a familiar hell to an unfamiliar heaven.

So why do so many of us often fear the open door?

It's because of the familiarity principle. The human brain loves predictability.

Predictability feels like safety to our nervous systems, even if the predictable thing is actively causing us pain.

It's because of the illusion of control. In a miserable situation, we at least know the script.

When we step into the unknown, true freedom, we have zero control over what happens next.

Our egos hate and fear this void.

So how does this behavior create everyday cages for us in our lives?

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