580: Stop Making Other People More Comfortable

Shameless Leadership

Sara Dean

Education, Management, How To, Business, Self-improvement

4.7 • 800 Ratings

🗓️ 13 September 2021

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

How often have you made yourself smaller because you didn’t want to make other people feel uncomfortable? You didn’t want to outshine someone, you didn’t want to hold someone responsible, you didn’t want to make someone take a closer look at themself? Perhaps you find yourself keeping your voice quiet and small because you are worried that your louder, bigger voice would make too much noise for another person. Sometimes it is absolutely appropriate to make space for others. But sometimes the space you are making for others is at your own expense. That is not appropriate. If you are an over-giver or a people pleaser, you probably know well the pain and exhaustion of tiptoeing around someone else. You know the resentment that comes with biting your tongue and taking someone else’s crap. You know the regret that comes with letting someone say or do something gross and not calling them on it. I’m giving you permission to use your voice more loudly, more clearly, and more frequently. I’m inviting you to set better boundaries that keep the right people out of your life and invite the right people in on your terms. This is about you having clarity around what you stand for and what you stand against. This is about knowing who you are and who you want to give your energy to. This is about letting other people be responsible for themselves instead of you feeling like you must keep them comfortable at all times. In today’s episode I walk you through a handful of situations in which you might want to consider how you’re sacrificing yourself in order to make others more comfortable - and how to stop doing that. Links Mentioned: Join my free Hope, Happiness & Mental Health Challenge Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is the Shameless Mom Academy episode 580. Show notes for this episode, including any links
0:05.8	mentioned in the episode, can be found by going to shamelessmom.com and clicking on episode 580.
0:15.5	Welcome to the Shameless Mom Academy. I'm your host, Sarah Dean. I'm here to give you and other passionate, driven,
0:22.3	unapologetic moms, tools, resources, and a little bit of humor to help you lead more positive,
0:28.4	powerful, and purposeful lives every damn day. One of the best things about the Shamedous Mom Academy
0:33.3	is our community. So be sure to join us in our free private Facebook group to connect with other
0:38.3	shameless moms just like you. You can find us over at shamelessom.com forward slash Facebook.
0:44.6	All right. Let's dive into today's episode.
0:51.8	Hello, shameless moms. Happy Monday. Oh my goodness. I'm so happy to be here with you today. And I'm
0:56.6	really excited to dig into our topic. So today we're going to be talking about why and how you should
1:01.6	stop making other people more comfortable. We're always on this plight to make everyone else
1:06.0	more comfortable at the expense of our own comfort because this is what we've been conditioned to do.
1:10.9	So we're going to talk about that today.
1:12.8	And part of that is also going to be really rebuilding your relationship with control.
1:17.1	Let's rebuild our relationships with control.
1:19.5	So if you're like me and you want to control all the things, some of that is like I don't
1:24.4	ever want anyone to be mad at me and I don't want people to be dissatisfied
1:28.1	or think bad things about me or say bad things about me or be uncomfortable in any way
1:33.7	because of something that I said or did or how I showed up. And a lot of that is around our
1:38.8	relationship with control and thinking that we need to control all the things and taking responsibility
1:42.7	for things that are not ours to be responsible for. You are not responsible for other people's feelings, for other people's
1:49.2	emotions, for other people's dissatisfaction with you or other people or circumstances in the world.
	...

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