576: Carrott and Stick

Regular Features

Comedy

4.9 • 546 Ratings

🗓️ 9 October 2024

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Autoglass repair? Okay cool, yeah I'm into this. I'm buying what you're selling. I'm picking up what you're putting down. A repaired windshield, well who could say no to that? What a deal! My beautiful original windshield, restored to its former glory, the idea delights my heart! What's that?! Autoglass REPLACE?! Well hold on just a minute!!! In this episode, Joe gets word from our podcast sponsors that one of us has been electing for dangerous and unapproved head surgeries. Log rediscovers the wondrous routines of Jasper Carrott. And Steve simply attends. Nobody can ever accuse him of not having been in the room.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Regular regular, regular, regular features, a regular regular features.
0:04.0	A regular regular features, a regular feature.
0:07.3	Hello and welcome to the Regular Features Podcast, a podcast that is precisely the same every single week.
0:13.1	My name is Steve and I'm joined by my two buzzers-frazzas.
0:17.5	Logg and Joe.
0:19.3	Log say hi now.
0:20.7	Hi, you're good luck and you beast. Over and Joe. Log say hi now. Higher. Ooh, you're good looking beast. Over to Joe. Higher. Ooh, you good looking beast. Back to log. Oh my God. Who dressed you today? You look simply sublime. Boys, who's got features? Tell you who doesn't have a feature? Me. I don't a feature. Don't even ask. Don't even look at me. Joe, what's your feature today? I've brought
0:42.1	back a character from four years ago because I remembered a jingle. Enjoy! Log? And I bought back a
0:49.2	character from about 35 years ago. He's called Jasper Carrot and I didn't invent him.
0:58.5	Features.
1:00.8	The regular features.
1:05.0	Spooky noise in your ears.
1:12.4	Features. a regular feature
1:15.6	ghosts and wolves with teeth
1:21.8	coming into your bed
1:24.1	I am not going first Joe
1:25.9	you're going first baby
1:27.4	Well let's try and have a chat No first, Joe. You're going first, baby.
1:45.8	Well, let's try and have a chat. No, chats for you. You're not getting the quality to stuff out of me. That's just for the customers of my pub. What's your excuse, Steve? What's going on? Coco's come to stay with us. That's nice, isn't it? So, I blame her. She's a time sink. What does she most make you have to do?
1:45.8	She requires 100. I blame her. She's a time sink. What does she most make you have to do?
1:55.4	She requires 100 iron plates per minute and 70 screws, which you need the Mark 2 conveyor bells to feed her constantly.
1:57.3	She's like the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
	...

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