Regular regular regular, regular features. A regular regular regular features. A regular regular regular features. Roll up, roll up everybody. It's me, Dionne McGregor, and I've got a show for you. I'm actually John Blythe. And I'm here to present to you regular features. The podcast that's the same every week. The voice I was just doing will become clear soon enough. But in the meantime, I've here to present to you regular features of the podcast that's the same every week.

The voice I was just doing will become clear soon enough. But in the meantime, I've got to introduce you to two of my very, very best friends. First of all, there's a Mr. Oh, God, who do I say first? Politics. Don't use me. I'm coughing and dying. I've got to throw you over to Joe Scrabbles. Talk quickly, Joe. I'm fine. I'm fine. It's just spit. I'm Joe Scrabbles and I've got to feature all about a newspaper that was included in a box of keepsakes given to me by my mother who doesn't care about me anymore. Well, she's got a grandchild. I thought I could say, well, she's got a point.

Have you had a look at yourself recently?

Maintaining a professional silence until being introduced, it's Steve Hogarty.

Hello.

What have you got for us tonight, your beautiful thing?

Well, for one, you can't give me smallpox anymore.

What?

Hmm. I got the jam. I got the jam. I got the jam. I got the jam.

Bring six. They look cool. Someone asked, why were you in that position anyway? And I had to say, the goat was climbing on me and I merely adjusted my position

to allow it to get onto me. I wasn't just on my hands and knees waiting for goats to jump on me.

Are we including this in the podcast? And if so, do we need you to explain why a goat was anywhere near you?

I sponsor the goats at the local city farm. It's

Stonebridge City Farm and Gardens. I thought you were going to say solicitors. I sponsor the

goats at the local solicitors where they do fine auditing work. Yes, we give them money

every month to help feed them so they don't, I know, get angry and start eating each other.

But we also had a Billy Fest, which is our, the pubs music festival where I decided for one

weekend, I'm going to make a lot of work for myself and then give all the profits to charity.

Nice.

So, yeah.

So we went to the Stonebridge City Farm and Gardens and told them, here's a bag full of money.

Let us into the goat pen.

...