572 - Building Commitment Off the Relationship Escalator

Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

Multiamory, LLC

Society & Culture, Sexuality, Education, Health & Fitness, Relationships, Self-improvement

4.9 • 970 Ratings

🗓️ 24 March 2026

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today we're talking about milestones in relationships, and how to build commitment when you're actively trying not to stay on the relationship escalator. We'll be discussing traditional milestones, why they're valued, how relationship milestones with one partner can affect other partners, and some of the research around jealousy and envy in these situations. We will also dive into some non-escalator milestones that you can consider for non-monogamous, escalator-free relationships, and going into the takeaways from the discussion at the end of the episode!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.,Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYWhatever you want to learn, MasterClass has something for you, taught by experts in their fields. Support the show and get an exclusive 15% offer at multiamory.link/masterclass.Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes for creators. Everything from graphic design and video editing to photography, writing, and business. Get a free month of Skilllshare at multiamory.link/skillshare.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Now, are all the traitors present? Let's get started, shall we? From rags to riches. I'm so sick of this.
0:07.0	Working like a dog and being treated worse. Yorkshire to New York. Poor climbers, you and me.
0:12.4	A life dedicated to revenge. Let's make this an occasion to remember. A woman of substance on Channel 4,
0:19.1	stream now.
0:26.1	I wanted to hit you with a metaphor that I think is better than mine.
0:30.3	And this comes from a Reddit user named Like a Sinking Star.
0:35.2	From a couple years ago in a thread that was talking about relationship escalator stuff,
0:36.5	where the whole thread was about,
0:37.9	what does your relationship look like when it's not on the escalator? And it basically is saying that a non-escalator
0:44.3	relationship is like wandering through a museum together. So, quote, you don't have to go in any
0:49.7	particular order. You don't have to see the same things. Even if you do, it might not look the same
0:55.0	when you're there with different partners. Sometimes there's an exhibit that you want to share
0:58.7	with all your partners because it's that important to you. And sometimes there's an exhibit
1:02.4	that you usually skip, but you find that you like it when you're viewing it with that one
1:06.4	partner who's super into it. I just thought this was a very cool metaphor for this kind of sense of
1:13.0	how you can find these milestones and areas of connection and they don't all have to be the same.
1:19.3	Welcome to the Multi-Amory podcast. I'm Jace. I'm Emily and I'm Dedeker.
1:25.2	We believe in looking to the future of relationships,
1:28.7	not maintaining the status quo of the past.
1:31.8	Whether you're monogamous, polyamorous, swinging, casually dating,
1:36.1	or if you just do relationships differently,
1:38.7	we see you, and we're here for you.
	...

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