558: The Apple

God Awful Movies

Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, LLC

Leisure, Tv & Film, Comedy

4.8 • 2.8K Ratings

🗓️ 26 May 2026

⏱️ 104 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week, Lydia and Thomas from the Where There's Woke podcast join us for the most fabulous film in the history of God Awful Movies.

Hear more from Thomas and Lydia on Where There’s Woke and Gavel Gavel
Check out more from Thomas on Opening Arguments
If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful
Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus.
Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/
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Transcript

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0:00.0	Let me give you some sex advice podcast listener.
0:06.9	Because now that we're in a visual medium, you can see that I am in fact a sex machine.
0:11.6	Never let anyone else undress you because it turns into toddler this fast.
0:17.3	Yes, it does.
0:18.2	Unless you're into that.
0:20.4	Oh, especially post kids. If you ever go to address someone, you're into that. Oh, especially post kids.
0:22.4	If you ever go to address someone, you go into that brain of like, okay, hold it down.
0:28.3	I'm ready when my body is ready.
0:38.9	God Awful Movies
0:40.3	Movies
0:41.3	Movies
0:42.3	Welcome back to the Gamcast, where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema because some of us have other motherfuckers crosses to bear as well. I'm your host, No Illusions. Heath has taken the weekend off to recover from his weekend off, but sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend, Eli Bosnick. Eli, how are you this fine afternoon, sir? I am fantastic. I know, I know. I am too. and we're also excited to welcome back the second hardest working person in podcast and the person who dethroned him. Knocked him down to number two on that list. Thomas and Lydia Smith from the way there's woke podcast. Lydia, Thomas, welcome back. Eli, I think he meant, hello. I'm here now. I am your Mr. Boogaloo. I've always said that. This is the first week. It makes sense. Let's address it up front. For those of you watching on YouTube, yes, the Smiths are too hot to be podcasters. We don't know why they're here either. Let's get back to the listeners. I'm here for the bin, man. I am here for the bin. All right, there you go. Let's start making some sense out of that. So tell us, Lydia, what will we be breaking down today? I mean, honestly, something that I don't know why we're doing it on this show, because it's truly a cinematic masterpiece. This was surprisingly very, very good
2:00.9	in the most ridiculous ways ever,
2:02.7	but it is the movie, the
2:04.6	Apple, from 1980.
2:06.6	And you can watch it for free on Prime.
2:09.1	And you should watch it for free on Prime.
2:12.7	Students should watch it in school.
2:14.6	Again, you should be part of our curriculum.
2:16.6	You should memorize it. It's so bad good. I don't like bad good, but this is the best I've ever seen. It's amazing. It's the best. I love it so much. This is what makes you like bad good. This will put you over the fucking limit here. Which makes my next question super awkward, Thomas. How bad was this movie?
2:34.9	Negative million.
2:36.6	It was so good.
	...

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