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The Basement Yard

#553 -The Worst Urine Sample

The Basement Yard

Santagato Studios

Improv, Comedy

4.914.7K Ratings

🗓️ 4 May 2026

⏱️ 86 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

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Transcript

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0:00.0

This episode is brought to you by Expedia and Visit Scotland.

0:04.6

Start your story in Scotland.

0:06.9

Experience the pool of wide, untamed landscapes and fresh cuisine that feels rooted in place.

0:13.6

Discover castles steeped in legend.

0:16.6

And feel the genuine warmth from locals you meet in a place that will stay with you long after you leave.

0:23.2

Start planning your own Scottish holiday.

0:25.7

Today at expeedia.com.uk slash visit Scotland.

0:30.1

Welcome back to the basement.

0:36.4

Welcome back to the basement yard.

0:39.7

Hi.

0:41.6

What's matter?

0:43.2

You're not having a good day?

0:45.9

It's been a week for the good old confidence, a good old Frankie.

0:49.6

Oh, you've had a bad confidence week?

0:51.4

It's not been a good old confidence week.

0:53.3

You know what I mean?

0:54.0

Like you know, you know, like you wake up certain days. You're just like, feeling good, feeling great, feeling good, how are you? I had a rough performance yesterday and just trying to get over it. Just like the whole day? Yeah. How are you doing? I'm all right. How about you, aunt? I'm having a better day than Frankie, I guess.

1:12.2

Well, my day's great. Don't talk about my day. He said his last week was bad.

1:16.3

The last, I think it was really just yesterday. I had to give a urine sample and, uh, it just didn't,

1:22.7

like I was not happy with it. You didn't like the way it looked? I'm pretty, I like my piss.

1:29.0

What's up? What do you like about it? Solid color. Seemingly not cloudy, which I hear is an issue.

1:40.3

Okay. I think that's a bad thing, right? Cloudy, I think. I don't know. Also, I saw one thing and it was just like, if you have bubbles when you pee, you might need to go to the doctor. Have you ever pissed? I think it depends how hard you're peeing. How hard do you pee? I mean, if I'm in my house, am I trying to pee as hard as I can? but if I'm in public, then I want to piss as hard as possible so people think that I have an alpha-sized wiener.

...

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