#543 The Ripple Effect: Understanding Why Hurt People Hurt People
Happiness Podcast
Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D.
4.4 • 920 Ratings
🗓️ 11 July 2025
⏱️ 15 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The Ripple Effect: Understanding Why Hurt People Hurt People
Have you ever wondered why someone you know, who's clearly struggling, ends up hurting those around them? It's a painful paradox: the very people carrying deep wounds sometimes inflict them on others. Today, we're going to explore this complex dynamic, understanding that while understanding is never an excuse, it's the first step toward breaking cycles of harm.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Happiness Podcast. I'm Dr. Robert Puff. Have you ever wondered why someone |
| 0:13.8 | lashes out, hurt you when you know they're struggling? This experience of hurting others when there's hurt inside someone |
| 0:23.6 | is not unique to humans. Over the years I've seen several videos where a beautiful soul |
| 0:29.8 | finds an animal who's in pain and suffering living on the street in horrible |
| 0:35.2 | conditions and they want to rescue and help that animal, that |
| 0:39.3 | puppy, that is in so much pain. And yet if you watch these videos often, almost categorically |
| 0:47.0 | at the beginning, that puppy may lash out bite and try to hurt the person that's trying to help |
| 0:53.7 | it. And yet if the caretaker is |
| 0:56.2 | patient and doesn't give up, often that young puppy ends up being very loving and so grateful |
| 1:04.5 | for all the love it's being shown, even though at first it was afraid and angry. So in today's podcast, I want to explore the |
| 1:13.7 | psychological and emotional reasons why people who have been hurt often inflict pain on others |
| 1:19.9 | and to offer pathways to understanding and healing. But as a disclaimer, I do want to point out that understanding is not excusing. When people |
| 1:31.1 | hurt us, they do need to be held accountable for what they do. But at the same time, it's good of us |
| 1:37.9 | to have understanding into how they got that way and how ultimately, if we ever get caught in a situation where we're hurting |
| 1:46.6 | others, we can understand and break the cycle of harm. |
| 1:51.5 | First, what do I mean by hurt? |
| 1:54.0 | We can hurt someone physically, of course, but it also includes emotional, psychological, |
| 1:59.8 | and even spiritual wounds. When we see that puppy |
| 2:03.2 | who's been abused, who's been treated so poorly, lash out at us, we understand why, but not all |
| 2:12.3 | wounds are visible. Sometimes they are invisible to others, and even to the person experiencing them. |
| 2:19.3 | And I think this is where it can get confusing. |
| 2:22.3 | The person who's hurting us seems like their lives are going so well. |
... |
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