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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

54: How and When Do I Give My Kid a Phone?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions

Kids & Family, Mental Health, Parenting, Health & Fitness

4.8720 Ratings

🗓️ 2 November 2021

⏱️ 25 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What’s the right age to get your kid a cell phone? Dr. Lisa and Reena look at the research on both sides of the debate. When a parent writes in asking if thirteen might be the right age, Lisa shares what parents should consider before handing their kid a first phone. She also explains how you can hit the reset button with kids who may already have a phone and Reena asks what parents can say to their kids when they want to hold off. Lisa also talks about the one reason when you absolutely should get your kid a phone and how modeling good digital habits can make a difference.  Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources:  https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by:  Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting.

0:10.0

Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times best-selling parenting books, takes your questions.

0:17.0

And I'm co-host, Rina Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.

0:24.2

Some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves.

0:28.2

Most of the time, I'll be getting answers to your parenting questions.

0:33.1

So send your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.Lisademore.com.

0:41.7

Episode 54, how and when do I give my kid a phone? All right, I think the transition happens closer as you're finishing elementary to middle school.

0:48.1

My son's asking for a phone.

0:50.7

Yep, yep, you're right.

0:52.1

You're probably right on time for that.

0:53.6

Or at least for him to be asking.

0:55.4

Oh, okay. It doesn't make me happy. It's not the most fun moment in parenting. I can tell you that.

1:01.5

Thank you for acknowledging that. I feel good. We got this letter and it made me realize I'm not the only person struggling with this. And it talks about cell phones.

1:10.0

My 12-year-old has been asking for a cell phone

1:12.8

since the fourth grade when some of her friends started getting them. My husband and I read that kids

1:17.4

are just not ready to regulate the dopamine levels caused by cell phone usage, and we worry about

1:23.2

her brain being distracted by having quick access to social media or YouTube in her back pocket.

1:29.5

I don't want her success in school to suffer or put any strain on her developing social skills.

1:35.1

However, I also worry about her feeling left out of the social loop at such a fragile time when

1:40.2

all her friends have them. We originally set the age at 14, but with my daughter's 13th birthday

1:46.2

in a few months, I wonder if we should cave. What's the right age for introducing cell phone

1:51.8

usage? What specific rules would you institute? And do you recommend any parent controls or parent

...

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