53: Should I Comment on My Child’s Weight?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions

Kids & Family, Mental Health, Parenting, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 720 Ratings

🗓️ 26 October 2021

⏱️ 27 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

How do we teach kids healthy eating habits without focusing on calories or portion size? A parent writes in asking for advice about whether she should say something about her daughter's increasing weight. Dr. Lisa explains how to approach the delicate topics of food and weight and what should be discussed. Reena asks what it means to be of a “healthy weight.” Lisa also names the four power struggles that parents will want to avoid - because the kid has all the power. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting, now in the midst of a pandemic.
0:12.0	Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times best-selling parenting books, takes your questions.
0:19.0	And I'm co-host, Rina Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.
0:23.7	Some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves. Most of the time, I'll be getting
0:28.5	answers to your parenting questions. So send your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.Lisademore.com.
0:36.3	Episode 53, should I comment on my child's weight?
0:45.1	What does it say about me psychologically that I'm that mom who puts out the decorations
0:51.2	like a month early?
0:53.1	Like we have like eight pumpkins. I put a scary witch hanging
0:57.4	from my neighbor's tree that my husband said, they're not going to like that. Why are you doing
1:02.1	that? That's not even your tree. I do love Halloween. I love it. I love Halloween. And my kids
1:09.6	love Halloween. It's like it's such a great holiday in so many ways. There's no question about it.
1:14.8	It is, but I always have this issue of when do I dump the candy and hide it. Now they're at that age where they know how much candy they have. So I can't. And you can't take it to work anymore because you're working from home. I used to dump bags off. Exactly. We thought this might be a good week to sort of talk about
1:28.6	kids and weight. And we got this letter, Lisa, that says, dear Dr. Lisa, I have an 11-year-old
1:33.8	daughter, and one of the hardest issues we've had to face has to do with her relationship with food.
1:39.7	She's eaten more than ever. She's already overweight, and I find myself in a difficult situation.
1:45.8	If I say something about it, she gets even more anxious or frustrated and eats even more.
1:50.5	On the other hand, if I do not say anything about it, I feel I'm not helping her. I know she's
1:56.3	not happy about her body, although she never says anything about it, but that's not my main worry.
2:01.2	I just want her to have a good relationship with food.
2:04.4	Do you have any words that might help me deal with this situation?
2:08.1	Thank you so much.
	...

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