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Ghostrunners

539 - Calling A Doctor

Ghostrunners

Jake Triplett

Stand-up, Improv, Comedy

4.92.3K Ratings

🗓️ 13 May 2026

⏱️ 91 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Description: Brad reveals a prank he’s been pulling on Timon, we call a doctor to get some questions answered, and revel in the amazingness of Walmart. Check out Brandon Faulkner's searchable episode library: https://brandons-coffee-corner.vercel.app/ Check out Cozy Earth and get 20% off site wide with this link: http://www.cozyearth.com/ghostrunners Check out Good Ranchers and use code GRKC http://bit.ly/3KV86YU Check out Main Street Roasters and use code GRKC at check out for a 10% discount! https://mainstreetroasters.com Ghostrunners merch: https://bit.ly/399MXFu Become a Patron and get exclusive content from Jake & Brad: https://bit.ly/2XJ1h3y Follow us on Instagram: http://bit.ly/33WAq4P Leave us a voice memo and ask a question: https://anchor.fm/jake-triplett/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Here's a question. Why does 12 ounces of coffee turn into a gallon of diarrhea?

0:08.0

Oh, wow. Starting off strong.

0:10.3

Or urine. I would say urine is more appropriate. That's what I felt yesterday when we were at the coffee shop. I peed twice. I had one coffee, two bathroom visits. It is actually pretty confusing.

0:38.8

Yeah. Like it's like it's multiplying inside of me. It's taking like liquid from, take a little from the stomach. Let me take a little from the pancreas. Turn it all into urine. I don't know how it works. Yeah, it's like water. You drink water, you kind of just like sits in there. Yeah. And then you drink coffee and it like, it just like brings all the water into itself and then just shoots out of you.

0:39.1

Yes.

0:40.6

In any way.

0:41.0

And then. Oh, yeah.

0:41.5

In all kinds of ways.

0:43.4

All right.

0:44.0

Now I'm trying to think.

0:45.3

Does that feel relatable or not?

0:47.5

Relatable or not, dude.

0:48.5

Relatable dog.

0:50.4

Now I'm trying to think like, do we, do we produce water or liquids?

0:57.0

Yeah.

0:58.0

Like, or is it like all from the time that we were a fetus, we get some water, you know, some

1:04.9

liquid in our, in our body inside of us and then, you know, we're out in the world and then

1:09.8

we have to keep like, is there any part of us that like adds our own, we're out in the world and then we have to keep, like,

1:11.4

is there any part of us that, like, adds our own to it? Because you're, like, you're saying, like, you're adding 12 ounces, but you're shooting out 24. It's like, was that just from storage that's just gone now? Or is it like, oh, no, no. That's, that's, that's actually from you churning through some stuff down there.

1:28.2

Let me answer your question with a personal story. Oh, no, no. That's actually from you turning through some stuff down there.

1:28.1

Let me answer your question with a personal story from every day of my life.

1:33.2

I feel like I wake up and have to pee so bad.

...

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