meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament

#537 - Tom Segura

The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament

Joey Coco Diaz

Tv & Film, Comedy

4.818.8K Ratings

🗓️ 27 November 2017

⏱️ 173 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tom Segura, Comedian seen on Netflix and heard as the co-host of the "Your Mom's House" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio.

This podcast is brought to you by:

Naturebox.com - Go to Naturebox.com/joey for 50% off of your first order.
 
Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.
 
Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order and stop using nasty toilet paper forever!
 
 
Recorded live on 11/26/2017.

 

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to podcastville. The church of what's happened now is brought to you by nature

0:11.0

box. Listen, the goods, the holidays mean one thing. Go, go, go. You got presents to

0:18.0

wrap, traveled to plan, relatives to brace for. With all that, it can be hard to find

0:24.1

time to eat healthy. Let nature box help with the snacks that are both delicious and better

0:30.4

for you. If you're trying to eat better, the holidays are a minefield. You know that.

0:36.0

Chalky cookies, candy canes, everybody. I just have one piece. It's no fun feeling left

0:43.4

out of deliciousness. Let nature box help you with snacks that you love and are the seriously

0:49.5

delicious and better for you. And right now, what I'm going to do for you, Uncle

0:54.3

Joy right off the bat. See some people show up their bag. I'm giving you some off the bat.

0:59.4

I'm offering you 50% off of your first order when you go to nature box dot com slash

1:05.6

Joe. We make sure you get the, no, they sent me a box last week. Delish. I didn't give

1:11.6

you a dick. I'm sorry. I know I never get a nature box. You know what? I had the beef

1:15.5

jerky. Oh my god. The jalapeno sweet jalapeno. Let's get Jesus Christ. Anyway, that's nature box dot

1:22.2

com slash Joey. And I'm going to give you 50% off your first order again. Nature box dot com slash

1:29.0

Joey. Now what goes up must come down and what goes in must go out. The reason why I'm talking

1:36.7

to you right now is I've been telling you this for about a year, but now I'm going to drop it on

1:41.2

you. But days are back. When you're writing your little sandalist this year, tell that

1:46.7

cock sucker one thing that he still owes you money and two that all you want for Christmas

1:52.6

is your asshole to fucking be spotless clean. When you got access pine cones coming out of your

1:58.2

fucking muffler and fudgey shits me all over on holy night. You need a Tushy Bade. All right.

2:05.8

What's up a day. A Bade is portable. You're snapping on your toilet. And after you take the

2:11.8

shit of that, you push the button and water hits your ass hole. And let me tell you something.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Joey Coco Diaz, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Joey Coco Diaz and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.