525: Dan Wotherspoon on Speaking with Loved Ones about Faith Differences

Mormon Stories Podcast

Dr. John Dehlin

Religion & Spirituality

4.6 • 5.2K Ratings

🗓️ 17 March 2015

⏱️ 108 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, co-released with Mormon Stories, Wendy Williams Montgomery, John Dehlin, and Dan Wotherspoon speak about the difficult dynamics at play in discussing with loved ones, whether family, friends, or ward members, about differences in faith positions after one party or another has shifted. In contrast with the types of challenges presented to people by “outsiders” to their faith, a change in stance and the new worldview presented by those who were once in sync with you (or at least perceived to be in sync) can be far more devastating. Their shifts often feel very personal, a rejection of something we hold most dear. And they have no excuse! They once knew what we know and now challenge and say they are seeing more clearly or experiencing something else more richly? For those who are the ones who have shifted, a loved one’s negative reactions to that person’s change also can feel quite personal. Why don’t they trust me that I’m on a good path, that I have information or insights that open the world to me in new ways? Why are they choosing stubbornness and clinging to ideology and dogma over really exploring and staying in close relationship with me no matter where my faith journey takes me?

How can we see these and other dynamics more clearly? What is “our” responsibility as those who have been the one whose perspectives have shifted? How can both parties better understand the challenges of this situation and learn to have compassion for each other? What are key virtues needed in such relationships? What are some “dos” and “don’ts” for negotiating this difficult interpersonal terrain?

Please listen and then share your stories and insights in the comments section below!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Mormon Matters Podcast is a production of the Open Stories Foundation and is seeking to build
0:05.0	financial support separate from Mormon Stories Podcast. All donations to Mormon Matters are
0:10.6	fully tax deductible and go directly towards keeping the podcast alive and towards building a
0:15.6	community of support for Mormons like you. To support the podcast or to join the community,
0:21.1	please become a monthly subscriber today at MormonMatters.org.
0:28.4	Hello and welcome everyone to a special co-released podcast from Mormon Stories and Mormon Matters.
0:56.6	Our regular host John Dillin from Mormon Stories and Dan Witherspoon from Mormon Matters
1:02.1	have invited me to moderate the discussion today. I am Wendy Williams-Mutt-Gov-Ree and I am
1:08.1	really happy to be here. So y'all are in for a treat today because our guests are John Dillin and
1:13.8	Dan Witherspoon. I'm sure none of you have ever heard those names before. These two men are
1:20.0	dear friends of mine and have become personal heroes to me over the past three years or so as
1:26.4	my husband and I have tried to navigate this crazy minefield of remaining active in the Mormon
1:32.0	Church while supporting and advocating for our gay teenage son Jordan and other LGBTQ members of
1:39.6	the Church. So it's really quite an honor for me to be here with them today, especially with the
1:45.2	topic that we're going to be talking about, which is an important one and one that strikes close
1:50.6	to home for me personally as I'm sure it will for many if not most of the listeners of these podcasts.
1:57.2	It's the issue of how to maintain good relationships with family, friends, and ward members
2:02.5	when we find ourselves a bit on the outside looking in or a bit out of the Mormon mainstream,
2:08.4	either in terms of our gospel beliefs or views on social issues. So with that I will ask you,
2:14.7	John, to introduce yourself first and Dan if you wouldn't mind introducing yourself when John's
2:20.0	finished. All right, well Wendy what a treat and yeah I'm John Delin. I have a podcast called
2:27.6	Mormon Stories. I've been doing it for about 10 years. I'm getting my PhD in Clinical and Counseling
	...

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