#523: How to Keep a Happy Relationship Happy

The Art of Manliness

Society & Culture, Education, Philosophy

4.7 • 14.5K Ratings

🗓️ 8 July 2019

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Most marriage and relationship advice books focus on solving problems. But my guests today argue that we shouldn't wait until problems arise in our relationship to work on strengthening it. Instead, they say, when times are good, we should think about how to keep that good, and act to make it even better. Their names are James Pawelski and Suzann Pileggi Pawelski, and they're husband and wife. James has a background in philosophy, and they both have backgrounds in psychology. They combined insights from both fields to write the book Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts. We begin our conversation discussing how most relationship advice falls short, the biggest myths people have about relationships, and the contrast between Plato's and Aristotle's approach to relationships. We then dig into the role emotions play in a relationship, particularly passion, and what we can do to continue to cultivate and experience positive emotions in a marriage even after being together for years. We then dig into how our character influences our relationships and how our relationships influence our character. James and Suzann share insights on how and why to focus on our strengths, help our partners develop their strengths, and even go on a "strengths date" together. We end our conversation talking about the power of appreciation in relationships. Get the show notes at aom.is/happytogether.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Brut McKay here and welcome to another edition of the Art of Manliness Podcast.
0:10.8	Now most marriage and relationship advice books focus on solving problems.
0:14.3	But my guess they argue that we shouldn't wait until problems arise in our relationship
0:17.4	to work on strengthening it.
0:18.6	Instead they say, when times are good, we should think about how to keep that good and act
0:21.9	to make it even better.
0:22.9	Their names are James Polelski and Susan Pellejipolelski and their husband and wife, James
0:26.8	has a background in philosophy and they both have backgrounds in psychology.
0:30.3	They combine insights from both fields to write the book happy together using the science
0:33.8	of positive psychology to build love that last.
0:36.6	We begin our conversation discussing how most relationship advice falls short, the biggest
0:40.0	myth people have about relationships and the contrast between playtos and Aristotle's
0:43.8	approach to relationships.
0:45.2	We then dig into the role emotions play in a relationship, particularly passion, and
0:48.5	what we can do to continue to cultivate and experience positive emotions and a marriage
0:51.8	even after being together for years.
0:53.6	We then dig into how our character influences our relationships and how our relationships
0:56.7	influence our character and James and Susan share insights on how and why to focus on
1:00.2	our strengths, help our partners develop their strengths, and even go on a strength
1:03.6	state together.
1:04.6	We enter conversation talking about the power of appreciation relationships.
1:08.0	After shows over, check out our show notes at aam.is slash happy together.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from The Art of Manliness, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of The Art of Manliness and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.