520: Touch Deprivation

Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

Cloud10

Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.5 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 28 November 2025

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, Laurie and George explore a pattern they see often in therapy but rarely hear women talk about openly: growing up under-touched—not abused or mistreated, but raised with too little warm, affectionate contact. Many girls learn early to be “little adults,” self-reliant and emotionally contained, with parents who provided care but not soothing. Inside, they adapt by dialing down their need for touch and connection. As adults, these women often struggle with desire, sensuality, and responsiveness—not because they’re broken, but because their bodies never learned that touch is comforting, safe, or connecting. Laurie shares her clinical insight that erotic shutdown can be a predictable outcome of emotional neglect and under-stimulation, especially for women who are socialized to mute their physical needs. George joins her in mapping how attachment deactivation, low interoceptive awareness, and a lifetime of caregiving roles shape many women’s sexual experiences. Together they offer hope and clarity: with attuned affection, emotional safety, and pressure-free touch, the erotic body can awaken. Desire isn’t missing—it’s been waiting for the right conditions to flourish. Check out this episode's sponsor (and support the pod!): cozyearth.com -- the softest sheets and blankets you'll ever experience! Use the code 'foreplay' at checkout to get up to 40% off in their Black Friday sales while supplies last! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:58.9	Okay, George, I want to talk about why some children who are not touched really craves sex
1:06.8	because that makes sense, but why some don't, and particularly why women, when they're not
1:12.1	touched, kind of stop craving adult sexual touch. This is a conundrum. I want to talk about it
1:19.5	with you. Let's do it. Welcome to Fork Play Sex Therapy. I'm Dr. Lori Watson, your sex therapist.
1:28.4	I'm George Valley, a couples therapist. We are here to talk about sex.
1:32.9	Our mission is to help couples talk about sex in ways that incorporate their body, their mind, and their hearts.
1:40.9	And we have a little bit of fun doing it, right, gee?
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