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Transcript

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0:00.0	Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, a brilliant scholarship student attending Bishop Gray Academy, the country's most exclusive boarding school.
0:09.0	Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death.
0:16.0	Binge all 10 episodes of Academy, early and ad-free, on Wondering Plus.
0:20.0	Greetings. The following warning should bring you neither alarm nor comfort. The following podcast is not real.
0:32.0	Do not be fooled into thinking it is documentary evidence of the existence of alternate dimensions.
0:37.0	It's just a comedy podcast newly added to the Earwolf Podcast Network.
0:42.0	And I'm not just saying that to cover up a huge trans-dimensional conspiracy.
0:47.0	Enjoy this meaningless foray into the world of pretend.
1:11.0	Hello from the Magic Tavern.
1:13.0	A weekly podcast from the magical land of fun. I'm your host Arnie Neckamp. If you haven't listened to the podcast before, this is what's going on.
1:20.0	Exactly a year ago today, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the fantastical, magical land of fun.
1:28.0	It's sort of like Middle-earth or Narnia. Luckily, I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal through the dimensional portal I think from the Burger King.
1:37.0	And I use that to upload a podcast. I record every week here in the Tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, in the Town of Hogsface, in the land of fun.
1:46.0	And I'm joined as always by my buddies that have become my best friends over this last year. Use it or the blue.
1:52.0	I am useador. Wizard of the twelfth realm of a feces master of light and shadow. Minipulator of magical lights.
1:59.0	The hour of chaos. Champion of the great halls of Tarakas. The elves know me as fying y'allok. The dwarves know me as zoning in hook sengies.
2:09.0	And I am known in the Northeast as gasmway as mains.
2:12.0	Let's don't do that. And there may be other secret names you do not know yet. I have names that are so powerful that they could crush a squirrel.
2:23.0	Simply uttering them. Yay. Words so grand that they could scrape snow off of an overhang.
2:31.0	Those are not that powerful.
2:33.0	Oh, yay. But as combined, if that snow would fall off of the overhang and crush the squirrel all at the same time, your mind would be blown.
2:43.0	I am not in favor of you revealing more of your secret names because your name is already quite long.
	...

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