Do you wear shoes with shoelaces or you wear Velcro?

Do you come up with these questions by yourself?

No, I have a writer's room. No, I'm just curious. I remember you used to like Velcro.

You said that anybody who is foolish enough to have to stoop down and tie their shoelaces deserves what they get.

That shoelaces get covered in urine and bile and that Velcro is the fabric of the future.

That's what you'd always say. You have shoes with shoelaces, right?

I have shoes with shoelaces, yes.

Do you always double knot them?

No.

You don't.

Any other compelling questions, Johnny, that you have?

If you showed up to a bowling alley with a watermelon, you think they'd let you bowl with it?

I'm Jonathan Goldstein and this is Heavyweight.

Today's episode, Lenny.

Right after the break.

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