I'm sick of women choosing bad boys over me. Should I become one?

Hey Stef, in regards to cutting ties with abusive parents, how do you deal with the fact that even though they were abusive, it still took an enormous amount of resorces and sacrifice to keep you alive until adulthood. They had to do a lot of things that vere valueable for you and therefore you should give value back. I think it's valid to say that turning your back on them when they get old is not fair. Thank you for your thoughts.

The usage of the word "You" was the mistake I made. I should've written it in first person. It really meant it to be about me, not a criticism of you. I feel shame for cutting off my parents, that's why I asked.

Me again with the parents: I really don't want to be annoying. I did cut off my parents but still have these voices in my head that are saying I did something wrong. I realize it is probably my parents but I need to sort it out. By asking the question, I wanted you help me confront those voices. I did not want to accuse you of being wrong with your situation, the exact opposite: to help me understand why what I did wasn't wrong.


I’ve heard people say that abusers treat animals better than children.Considering some exceptions, is this true?

I think some mothers have unresolved abuse or trauma in their background and cling to their "little man" boy children that they feel safe with, but need the male influence from. It's a totally abusive situation where they smother the boy being male, out of total fear. I call them "smothers".

My parents had low standards and felt that some of my teachers and private tutors where “stuck up” and elitist but I always felt those tutors had high standards. Seems to me like they where low class and didn’t want successful people in my life to influence me

Abusive parents who where unfit to have children seem like kidnappers if they adopt children and then abuse them throughout their chidlhood. They can always try to hold it against the child that they “saved” them but that is not entir true

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe you mentioned in a recent livestream about parents who demand compliments and “love” but if that is not given by the child, that they get punished like a dog. Why do you think this happens?

What is the philosophy of the movie Pulp Fiction?

I’m working with a better therapist who is helping separate from my abusive family. I feel that like a lawyer, the therapist should be an advocate for me, and not my parents. But many therapists advocate for parents.
My father recently went to therapy and his therapist requested “group counselling” which my gut feeling said was a red flag. What do you think about group therapy with extremely abusive family?

How can a man have any negotiating power in a relationship if the woman can withold sex as a weapon?

Would you say people who enjoy violent movies such as Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill have some sort of character flaw, maybe it's not a flaw that is obvious but a flaw that is revealing of their 'shadow' self as ung put it, so Stef would you automatically see it as a red flag or would you make a distinction between a movie as just being popcorn entertainment and just because someone enjoys seeing something that is lowbrow it does not necessarily mean it is a poor reflection of their inner character?

Have you seen the new sport where people take turns slapping each other as hard as they can in the face?

5/12/2023