#514: Do You Stay or Do You Go?

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 5K Ratings

🗓️ 1 June 2026

⏱️ 13 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Are you wondering if you should stay or go? Because here is the thing, it is never really just about the relationship. It is about you, your patterns, your upper limits, and the stories you have been telling yourself about what love is supposed to look like. We talk about why staying for the kids might not be the noble choice you think it is, why both people have to be all in or the healing is just pretend, and the questions that will cut straight to the truth of what you actually want. 00:00 The Big Question: Should You Stay or Go? 00:50 Context: Navigating Healthy Adults' Dysfunctions 02:05 Identifying Relational "Upper Limits" and Patterns 02:56 Why Both Partners Must Be "All In" to Heal 04:17 The Nuance of Staying for the Kids 06:58 Why Relational Education is a Vital Life Skill 09:25 Essential Questions from "Too Good to Stay, Too Bad to Leave 10:29 3 Perspective-Shifting Questions for Clarity Resources: Need a digital detox? We've put together a free, science-backed protocol with everything you need to reclaim your focus, sleep, and attention — download it here. Get My Book! Liberated Love - Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire: https://markgroves.com/book —Explore My Courses: https://markgroves.com/courses Follow me and my work here: —Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/markgrovestv —Subscribe to my Substack: https://markgroves.substack.com —Instagram - @createthelove: https://www.instagram.com/createthelove —Facebook - @createthelove: https://www.facebook.com/createthelove Have A Question?—Have a Question For Mark That You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Leave us a Voice Note Here: https://www.speakpipe.com/TheMarkGrovesPodcast Drop us a note at podcast@markgroves.com for sponsor product support, questions, comments, guest suggestions, or just to say hello! This episode is sponsored by: Organifi - High Quality Superfood Supplements To Keep Working Toward Your Goals - Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% off www.organifi.com/createthelove

Transcript

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0:00.0	Should you stay or go?
0:02.2	This is a big question, right?
0:04.4	And look, if you or someone you know is going through this, send them this because I'm going to walk through sort of the algorithms or decision tree of how do you make that decision?
0:14.5	And look, I'm not taking responsibility for your choice and saying you should leave or you should stay.
0:19.2	What I am saying is allow either
0:22.0	answer to be true without judgment. And let's explore the momentum of society that says you should
0:29.4	never end a relationship. You should never leave a relationship. And also the ones that say you should
0:35.7	never stay under certain circumstances.
0:38.0	So I am not giving permission to anyone to stay in a cycle when they keep getting back together
0:42.9	and keep getting back together with a cheater.
0:44.9	This is not your permission to not move on and set boundaries and standards and move on with
0:49.6	your life.
0:50.5	No, this is taken in the context of, let's say, two relatively healthy adults who are in relationship, which doesn't mean you don't have your dysfunctions.
1:00.8	When I first explored the question, should I stay or go, oh, man, you know what? I was ultimately looking for the answer to be everything but what I knew to be true. That's the
1:12.6	first thing. I also had no deep understanding of my relational patterns. It's what put me on the path
1:18.2	to studying relationships and then teaching relationships and writing about them and learning about
1:24.4	them. And so ultimately it really served me. It put me on my life
1:28.6	mission. It connected me to my Dharma, which is what happens a lot of the time from our suffering,
1:33.6	right? If you want to find what you love, find what breaks your heart. And people going through
1:38.4	breakups and confused about whether to stay or go and feeling like they've let everyone down
1:43.7	around them.
1:44.8	I was like, nah, this isn't the end.
	...

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