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The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

512: Narcissism Explained

The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

Michelle Chalfant

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.91.6K Ratings

🗓️ 28 May 2026

⏱️ 38 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today, I'm breaking down a topic that comes up all the time: narcissism.

This is a word we hear everywhere now, especially online and on social media, but it is often misunderstood and overused. In this episode, I explain what narcissism really is, what narcissistic traits can look like, where they come from, and how to know the difference between narcissistic tendencies and narcissistic personality disorder.

I also answer some of the biggest questions I receive around this topic: Can someone heal from narcissism? How do you know if you are a narcissist? Why do you keep attracting narcissistic relationships? Can you change a narcissistic partner? And how do you navigate a relationship with a narcissistic parent?

This episode is not about labeling or blaming. It is about understanding the deeper shame, wounding, and identity patterns underneath narcissism, while also learning how to protect your energy, build your self-worth, and create healthier relationships from your Adult Chair.

Key Takeaways

  • Narcissism is a term that is often overused, especially online and on social media
  • Narcissistic traits can include needing to be the center of attention, lacking empathy, deflecting criticism, and struggling to take responsibility
  • Underneath narcissistic behavior is often deep shame and a false identity built around being seen as special, perfect, or superior
  • Narcissism can develop when a child is placed on a pedestal or when a child is neglected and creates a false self to survive
  • Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum, and narcissistic personality disorder is at the far end of that spectrum
  • If someone is genuinely worried they may be a narcissist, that awareness is often a hopeful sign
  • You cannot change a narcissistic partner unless they truly want to do their own inner work
  • Repeatedly attracting narcissistic relationships often points to old wounds, beliefs, and patterns that need to be updated
  • When a parent is narcissistic, healing often requires grief, boundaries, self-worth work, and sometimes no contact

Resources from this Episode:

Free Self-Worth Course

The Adult Chair® Collective

MORE MICHELLE CHALFANT

Website: https://www.michellechalfant.com

Membership: The Adult Chair Collective
https://www.michellechalfant.com/collective 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello, hello, everyone, and welcome to the Adult Chair podcast with Michelle Shelfont.

0:10.7

I got to tell you, I really love saying that, this new marriage I've had with my podcast,

0:15.8

The Adult Chair. It's so good to be here with you guys again. And I told you I was going to do more solo cast.

0:22.0

So here I am today.

0:23.8

This is exactly what we're doing.

0:26.4

Today we're talking about narcissism.

0:28.7

This is a term that gets thrown around.

0:32.9

I'm going to say probably in the last, I'm just thinking back on this over the last 10 years.

0:39.5

This term has been getting thrown around like crazy. Like I, people ask about the time, I think that they're a narcissist.

0:45.1

Do you think they're a narcissist? A narcissism is thrown around on the internet, on social media,

0:49.9

on a regular basis. So today we're going to clear things up. We are breaking it down. What is it?

0:57.0

What does it look like? Are you a narcissist? Is the person you're with a narcissist? How do you know?

1:02.9

Can they change? All of these questions. I've taken all the questions that you all have been

1:07.6

writing in and asking me about. And I made a list and we're going to go through it

1:12.6

step by step today. So get your pen and paper. You're going to want to write some of these things down

1:21.9

because we are all about it today. We're breaking it down just so that you can be clear and crystal clear about it.

1:29.6

And as always, if you have further questions, hit me up on social media. I love answering your

1:34.2

questions. And a lot of the topics that I'm going to be doing in these solo casts, which I

1:39.3

love, they're coming from all of you. I want to know, what do you want to hear? What do you want to learn?

1:46.0

What would you like me to break down? And I will do my best. Not saying I know everything,

1:50.2

but I know a heck of a lot. I've been doing this. Can I say it out loud? 30 years. Oh my.

1:58.1

And doing personal work for even longer. So yeah, we've done a lot of research you've done a lot

...

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