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Gender: A Wider Lens

51 - Clearing of the Pink Mist: A Conversation w/ Debbie Hayton

Gender: A Wider Lens

Sasha Ayad and Stella O'Malley

Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Mental Health

4.6961 Ratings

🗓️ 26 November 2021

⏱️ 68 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

UK transwoman Debbie Hayton discusses how she came to the decision to medically transition when she was a 44-year-old father of 3 children. We discuss Debbie’s appearance in Stella’s film, Trans Kids: It’s Time to Talk and the intense public reaction to her story. Male sexuality, shame, and autogynephilia are explored openly in a bid to gain a deeper understanding of the complicated mosaic of traits that encompass MtF transition. She also shares how she became disillusioned with transgender ideology and coined the phrase, “trans women are men. Get over it.”

Links:

Critically Examining the Doctrine of Gender Identity with Rebecca Reilly-Cooper: Youtube.com/watch?v=QPVNxYkawao

Magdalen Berns on Alex Drummond:

Youtube.com/watch?v=JkK7zisjoDk


Miranda Yardley:

Youtube.com/watch?v=Bn66yhFoov4


Debbie’s Website:

Debbiehayton.com


Extended Notes:

  • Stella talks about the 2018 film, Trans Kids, and how people misinterpreted how Debbie emerged in that film.
  • How is it for a family when there is a late transition? Debbie transitioned at 44 years old with a wife and three children.
  • Debbie shares the answer to the big question on why the chronic condition of the dissatisfaction of her sex and body suddenly became acute.
  • Could there have been a therapy or experience that may have pulled her back from transitioning?
  • Debbie shares how she used shame, guilt, and fear as powerful emotions to control her desire to dress as a girl at four years old.
  • Debbie describes how she sees autogynephilia as a sexuality and how you can be attracted to your own body where it can be the focus of your sexual interest.
  • The male sexual drive is so powerful and there is a need to control it. Has Debbie now been freed from that after her transition?
  • Sasha wonders, if Debbie stumbled upon gender dysphoria or autogynephilia and how it manifests in some male people before her transformation, would it have changed what she felt she needed to do or how she managed her feelings?
  • Stella and Sasha also discuss how people can be compulsive with their feelings about gender and ask Debbie about her thoughts on gender euphoria and the “pink mist.”
  • Is there a way for the autogynephilic to operate in the world without asking other people to buy into the narrative that they’re a woman? Debbie shares what helped her lift her pink mist.
  • Should transwomen go through synthetic menopause and, if so, what are the potential negative effects of that?
  • Debbie shares how she feels about her body now, her current beliefs about her sexuality, and how she interacts with it in the world around her.


This podcast is partially sponsored by ReIME, Rethink Identity Medicine Ethics:

Rethinkime.org


Learn more about our show: Linktr.ee/WiderLensPod




This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

You're listening to gender, a wider lens.

0:04.0

I'm Stella O'Malley, a psychotherapist in Ireland.

0:06.5

And I'm Sasha Ayad, an adolescent therapist in the United States.

0:10.6

Since 2016, my practice has been exclusively dedicated to gender questioning teens

0:16.1

and families impacted by gender dysphoria. I also work with gender questioning

0:20.7

teenagers and I facilitated support meetings for families and

0:24.2

individuals who have been impacted by gender issues. We're curious about the

0:28.1

concept of gender and how it's unfolding in the wider culture. Join us as we look at gender through a wider lens.

0:35.0

Debbie Hayton is a science teacher at a high school in Central England.

0:41.0

Nine years ago she transitioned male to female and hoped to keep

0:45.4

her job and stay out of the press. However, following calls to introduce self-identification

0:51.2

of legal gender in the UK, she became a regular commentator on the trans debate.

0:57.0

Debbie opposes self-identification and supports women who defend their sex-based rights.

1:02.3

As a scientist, her views are rooted in reality.

1:05.8

In 2019, she wore a t-shirt that declares,

1:09.0

Trans women are men, get over it, causing outrage. Debbie is married with three children. In our

1:15.9

conversation we discuss Debbie's appearance in Stella's film, Trans Kids, and the

1:21.4

reaction from audiences.

1:23.5

Debbie also tells us about how autoginophilia and sexuality

1:27.2

played a role in her desire to transition,

1:29.8

which she describes as a compulsion.

1:32.4

She argues that chasing gender euphoria is an important and

...

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