#505: Stop Going Back to What Hurts You

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 5K Ratings

🗓️ 30 March 2026

⏱️ 16 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode I break down why you keep going back to the same person, pattern, or behavior and why it’s not failure, it’s unfinished healing. I unpack how shame keeps you stuck, how unresolved grief is driving your choices, and why you’re not going backwards, you’re being shown what still needs to be healed. This is a call to stop avoiding the deeper work, start choosing yourself, and finally build the self-trust that changes everything. Resources: Get My Book! Liberated Love - Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire: https://markgroves.com/book Explore My Courses: https://markgroves.com/courses Follow me and my work here: —Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/markgrovestv —Subscribe to my Substack: https://markgroves.substack.com —Instagram - @createthelove: https://www.instagram.com/createthelove —Facebook - @createthelove: https://www.facebook.com/createthelove Have A Question?—Have a Question For Mark That You’d Like To Hear Answered on the Podcast? Leave us a Voice Note Here: https://www.speakpipe.com/TheMarkGrovesPodcast If you want to dive deeper into Mark’s content, search through every episode, find specific topics we’ve covered, and ask him questions, go to his Dexa page: https://ask.markgroves.com Drop us a note at podcast@markgroves.com for sponsor product support, questions, comments, guest suggestions, or just to say hello! This episode is sponsored by: Organifi - High Quality Superfood Supplements To Keep Working Toward Your Goals http://www.organifi.com/createthelove

Transcript

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0:00.0	Get a free bet when you bet five pounds every week of the Premier League season and a big boost every day.
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0:11.0	18 plus 1st September to 24th of May. Opting weekly. Selected Premier League markets.
0:17.2	Match one free bet per week. Values vary.
0:23.1	Restrictions and TNCs apply.
0:27.8	Daily arts boosts T&Cs on labbrooks.com.
0:29.7	Gamblingware.org.
0:32.8	Hello and welcome to another episode of the Mark Groves podcast.
0:37.1	Today I'm coming at you with an episode about a very common behavior. Getting back together with
0:38.6	an ex, relapsing, engaging in a previous behavior that we thought we were done with. You know,
0:44.0	going back into connection with an unavailable person, finding ourselves in another situation.
0:50.3	What's common about all of these is a deep sense of shame, right?
0:54.7	That we're going backwards, that we're not done with the old thing and we feel ashamed about
0:59.8	that.
1:00.8	We thought we were complete.
1:01.6	We thought we'd healed the thing.
1:03.9	And the shame that comes forward can often paralyze us.
1:08.3	What exists below all of these behaviors is a deep, unresolved grief.
1:13.6	Because it's the feeling we have right before the thing we choose again, the relapse, the X, the whatever,
1:18.6	that we're trying to not feel. And you know, the reality is that you're never going backwards, right?
1:24.6	Like, even if you get back together with an X, even though the patterns
1:28.6	might feel like they're repeating themselves and they might be, you're not actually going backwards.
	...

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