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Wire Talk with Karen Stubbs

502: Parenting Adult Children: How to Let Go Without Losing the Relationship with Jim Burns

Wire Talk with Karen Stubbs

Karen Stubbs

Christianity, Motherhood, Parenting, Parenting Advice, Religion & Spirituality, Kids & Family, Christian Parent, Faith

4.9 • 936 Ratings

🗓️ 27 January 2026

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Parenting doesn’t end when your kids turn 18. In many ways, it gets more complicated! Today Karen and Erin are joined by longtime parenting expert Jim Burns for a wise and honest conversation about parenting adult children. They talk about releasing control, shifting your role, navigating boundaries, resisting unsolicited advice, and discerning the difference between helping and enabling. Whether your kids are still at home, newly launched, or already raising families of their own, this episode will help you parent with clarity, peace, and long-term perspective.

Episode Recap:

  • Jim is the founder of Homeward Ministries (3:06)
  • When our children become adults, we have to give up control (4:43)
  • What does it look like to embrace a new “job description” as moms? (7:00)
  • How can we offer wisdom to our adult children or do we just bite our tongues? (11:37)
  • Resist the urge to become a “one topic” parent (13:15)
  • What’s the difference between helping your kids and enabling them? (15:45)
  • How do we place good boundaries when adult kids move back in? (19:10)
  • What does it mean to, “wear beige and keep your mouth shut?” (24:00)
  • Can you cast vision for the grandparent years? (28:00)
  • Continue this conversation on WT+ at the link below (32:00)


Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1 (ESV) –  “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”

Discussion Questions: 

  1. What part of parenting adult children feels most difficult for you right now? If you don’t have adult children yet, what fears or worries do you have about that season of life?
  2. How can you shift from giving advice to asking permission before speaking?
  3. Is there an area where helping may have crossed into enabling dependency?
  4. What expectations need to be clearly communicated in your family right now?
  5. How can you focus on relationship building rather than behavior correcting?


Resources:


Want More of This Conversation?

Wire Talk+ listeners get extended conversations every week! Today we go deeper into parenting wayward adult children, setting boundaries, and navigating complicated family dynamics.

To become a Wire Talk+ Insider, head HERE and join us for the full conversation.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to Wire Talk. Today is going to be an exciting day. We have a guest in the studio. His name is Jim Burns. He has written several books, but the book that we're going to talk about today is parenting adult children. Even if you're not in this stage of life, I'm telling you you want to tune in because he is laying down huge boulders of wisdom. I mean, Aaron and I,

0:23.9

Aaron Meshaw, join me on this conversation because she co-wrote a book with him on sexual integrity

0:30.1

with your teens. Stay tuned because we have extra content on WireTalk Plus, our Patreon

0:37.0

subscribers, with how to parent adult children that have gone in a wayward direction.

0:43.8

You guys are in for a treat. Let's jump to it.

0:49.9

Hey, moms, welcome to Wiretalk. Well, today we have a very special guest in our studio, and his name is Jim Burns.

0:56.9

Welcome, Jim.

0:57.7

Welcome back.

0:59.1

I love being here.

1:00.0

I know.

1:00.5

You're sitting next to a pretty special person in my life, too, as well as yours.

1:04.0

I'm a big fan of Aaron, and we'll tell why you guys are so special to each other.

1:09.4

But Jim has a ministry, Homeward Ministries, and he has been doing this for decades.

1:15.6

And today he's going to be talking about parenting your adult children.

1:19.2

And listen, regardless of what stage you're in right now, you will get there, I promise.

1:24.1

I am in it myself.

1:25.7

And us two grandparents are going to talk today. And Aaron's going to take notes.

1:29.0

I'm going to learn so much. Yeah. But Aaron, tell us how you know Jim and how he came in about your life or you came into his life. How about that?

1:36.5

Well, Jim is just one of these rare people who, and I think the same about you, that just has deep wisdom, but is also completely approachable. I first heard Jim a

1:45.9

few years ago at a parenting conference and the timing was perfect. We were wrestling with something

1:51.1

with our oldest. Yeah. And I went to his breakout and got so much help. And then we just have

1:56.1

had the opportunity to collaborate on a few different projects over the years. And so when we were talking about here at Water Talk, we want to make sure we're equipping moms in every stage. Absolutely. And so when we get to talking about moms who are raising adult kids, or not raising anymore, but trying to parent adult kids. Sometimes it's harder, right, Jim? Yeah. Oh, I honestly thought it was going to be over almost. Yeah. It's not, it wasn't over. It was harder. And it is harder. It is harder. I agree with him 100%. Yeah. So we got the dream team here to talk about this for all the rest of us who are almost there or for you moms who are already there. What she didn't tell you, Karen, was one time I sent her a script because I was doing a series and she rewrote my script.

...

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