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The ONE Thing

502. How High Performers Build Resilience in Chaotic Times with Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe

The ONE Thing

NOVA Media

Entrepreneurship, Business, Careers

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 28 April 2025

⏱️ 35 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What if the ability to bounce back isn’t something you’re born with—but something you can build? This week, you’ll hear from Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe, a behavioral psychologist and expert on resilience and stress. Robyne breaks down how resilience is not just about “toughing it out”—it’s about building habits that create consistent, calm comebacks even in the face of chaos. We talked about how high achievers fall into the “when-then” trap, why your family relationships are the glass balls you can’t afford to drop, and how naming your emotions for just 90 seconds can change your entire day—and maybe even your future. We also explore how chronic stress hijacks your brain, how to get back to shore when you’re overwhelmed, and why the answer isn’t in hydrogen water or another hype cycle. It’s in the basics—sleep, movement, quiet rituals, and trusted people who check your blind spots. Challenge of the Week: When you reunite with someone you love—your partner, your kids, a teammate—let your face light up. Let them feel how good it is to be seen, and how good it is to come home. *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: How to recognize and interrupt the “when-then” trap The 90-second rule that can reduce long-term emotional distress Why showing up for your relationships is a resilience strategy Links & Tools from This Episode: Learn more: drrobyne.ca Follow Dr. Robyne on Instagram: @dr_robynehd Connect with Dr. Robyne on LinkedIn Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA

Transcript

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0:00.0

I'm Jay Papazan and this is the One Thing, your weekly guide to the simple steps that lead to extraordinary results.

0:19.6

Hey there, One Thing, friends and family, our readers, our listeners. Thank you so much for being there every single week. And this week, you're in for a treat. I get to interview Dr. Robin Hanley-Defo, who insisted I just call her Robin on the interview. And in my mind, she's now Dr. Robin. But she is a behavioral psychologist. She's authored numerous books. She's written specifically about resiliency and

0:38.6

stress. And we dive in together and address all kinds of topics around resiliency and stress.

0:45.0

And some of the highlights I want you to listen for is the 90 second rule. How 90 seconds can save you,

0:51.4

I think it's six to seven years of discomfort. 90 second investment will get you's six to seven years of discomfort. Ninety second investment will get

0:56.7

you back six to seven years of discomfort. The win-then rule, right, which plays very much into our

1:02.4

one thing thinking and how to prioritize work in life, right? What's the difference between how we

1:07.9

show up at work and how we show up at home? Those are just a handful of the topics, but this was rich, it was real.

1:13.5

She's an amazing, amazing teacher, and she speaks to her topics with authority.

1:17.7

I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed recording it with her.

1:25.0

All right, Robin, you're an expert on resilience, on stress. And when we think about our audience,

1:32.0

the achievers out there, maybe someone's listening to this on their way into work or on their

1:37.0

way to solve a problem from one of their customers, they struggle with juggling a lot of things

1:41.7

while trying to focus on their one thing. And I just feel like

1:44.5

if we can teach them something in the next half hour about how to recognize and build resilience

1:50.1

and how to decipher between good stress and bad stress, that would be a huge gift to them.

1:54.7

I would love to dive into that with you today.

1:56.8

So one of the big things I learned from your book is that resilience is something that we can develop.

2:02.6

So before we even walk into that, how do you define resilience? Do you have your own special definition?

2:08.6

Yes. The working definition I work with resilience is it's this idea about what are there sets of behaviors and habits that we can do to create our comebacks, our bounce back. It's recognizing

2:19.7

that it's an everyday practice of ways that we can show up and be able to navigate all the

2:25.3

different parts in our lives. The word resilience, like in the roots, isn't it like having to do

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