#501: NBA Finals + UFC in DC + Dice vs. Ari Shaffir

Punch Drunk Sports

Johnny Woodard

Comedy

4.7 • 911 Ratings

🗓️ 6 June 2026

⏱️ 75 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The guys are back to talk about the NBA Finals, the Washington DC UFC, proposed changes to the NBA Draft Lottery, whether MLB will face a labor stoppage, and more homoerotic shenanigans.

To support the show directly and gain access to bonus audio and the Super Secret Pod archive, visit www.patreon.com/punchdrunksports.

Past guests include Joe Rogan, Duncan Trussell, Bert Kreischer (again), Pauly Shore, Tom Segura, Bobby Lee, Brody Stevens, Don Barris, Jason Ellis, Bryan Callen, Brian Redban, Josh Barnett, Brendan Schaub, Steve Rannazzisi, Tait Fletcher, and many others.

Hosts: Jayson Thibault, Johnny Woodard, Sam Tripoli

Thanks to the Dead Reds for the intro music! Check them out here: https://thedeadreds.bandcamp.com/album/dictated-democracy

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	For the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world.
0:07.0	This is the main event.
0:10.5	Tidlto Cor is alive.
0:12.5	And kicking.
0:13.5	Come on over here, I'll head back your ass a couple of times.
0:19.6	Welcome to Punch Drunk Sports, where winners win, and I don't know about you, but that song gets my dick hard.
0:29.6	Bap, bap, bap, bha.
0:33.6	No, it really isn't.
0:55.4	Happy birthday to you, and you're just rock hard, bro. Oh, dude, you got me harder if it's even possible. Tripoli's got that chat. I didn't see the chains here there. You really are going all armo, bro. You're like the Armenian Mr. T. Yeah, 24-hour Armo. That's me. 24-7. The Armenian Mr. T.
0:58.3	I pity, buddy, buddy, buddy. I pity the buddy.
0:59.5	I pity the fool.
1:01.3	I pity the buddy, buddy.
1:02.9	Buddy, I pity you.
1:04.6	I pity the party.
1:07.5	Say, sucker. You're a buddy. I pity you.
1:11.2	You park here? You don't park here? I pity you.
1:15.0	Everyone thinks I look like I sell drugs right now.
1:21.4	You've always had a like sell drugs look but boy this one really says if you want it I can get it for you. It's just hot in the valley dude.
1:24.1	You buy car from the other guy. I pity you.
1:27.5	I pity you so much.
1:29.1	I'm a shit-up, I'm an alien.
1:31.0	If you buy car from that person, I pity you.
	...

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