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As we enter the new year, I've been reflecting upon which dating royalty will return to the Love Island Villa.

Lovers from across the land will be hoping they get the call to be a Love Island All-Star

and share values of kindness, compassion and snogging.

I urge them to love thy neighbour on the next Sun Lounger and hope that come January 13th on ITB2 and ITBX, love will reign supreme.

What did the left ear say to the right ear?

Nothing. They're just really good listeners.

A guy named her once gave me some sage cooking advice, and I've been stewing on it ever since.

If you just read the bio for Dr. Steve, host of weird medicine on Sirius XM103,

and made popular by two really comedy shows,

Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez,

you would have thought that this guy was a bit of, you know, a clown.

Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to?

I've got diphtheria crushing my esophagus.

I've got Zabola vibes dripping from my nose.

I've got the leprosy of the heartbells, exacerbating my imbettable woes.

I want to take my brain out, blast with the wave, an ultrasonic, ecographic, and a pulsating

shave.

...