This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting, now in the midst of a pandemic.

Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times best-selling parenting books, takes your questions.

And I'm co-host Rina Ninan a journalist and

mom of two some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves most

of the time I'll be getting answers to your parenting questions so send your

questions to ask Lisa at dr. Lisa demourore.com. Episode 50.

How do I build my kids' confidence in self-esteem?

You know, it's an adjustment for so many people getting the kids back in school, and it's the little things, like my son being able to bike to school.

There's this layer of confidence now that he's, like, the fifth son being able to bike to school. There's this layer of confidence now that he's like the fifth grader who can bike to school. That's cool that he can do that. So he takes

his bike every day and parks it there? He just started doing that. And it's exciting to see these

little things that are actually big things now. Yeah. That's a nice way to put it.

It's a letter we got is actually

talking about building self-esteem and self-confidence and it says, Dear Lisa, how can we talk about

self-esteem and self-worth with teenage girls? What is it exactly? How can we help them to strengthen

theirs? They can seem to be totally fixated on getting validation from other people or else they feel they are worthless.

So how can we help them build up a sense of self that isn't only connected with such flimsy and superficial things as social standing or appearance?

I think it's especially important for kids who aren't the most popular, pretty, or accomplished ones.

I think it's a topic many adults struggle with two.

So it would be great to plant a few seeds when kids are still young.

It's a great idea.

How do you do that?

Where do you start?

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