As men, we are literally causing disorder in the nervous system of the person in front of us, and disorder leads to disease.

Trauma bonds are formed through highs and lows, and that is not obviously love, but it's the most familiar thing.

The thing we fear experiencing from the trigger is the thing we create through the response to the trigger.

The real skill that men need to learn is to regulate under stress and duress and then respond, regardless of the situation.

One of the most important thing for women to do is stop trying to get men to love you. Stop. They already love you.

What's interesting about trauma bonds is that there are this really intense attachment that are

formed through highs and lows.

So you're basically going on a roller coaster with somebody,

and that's how you're bonding with them, right?

And that is not obviously love, but it's the most familiar thing.

And so for a lot of us, our original imprint of what we would maybe unconsciously deem love is

uncertainty or chaotic or disorganized in some way.

And so there is this imprint in the nervous system of anticipation or uncertainty or

excitement or that high and low.

And so, you know, from a nervous system, neurology standpoint, when we're engaging with people

who bring that sensation to us, they activate that experience in us.

It's not necessarily healthy or true love, but it is familiar.

And so that's what most of us are working through when it comes to our relationship

patterns in general is a full rewire of the nervous system and the neurology of what it actually

feels like to be in safe, healthy love without it

feeling boring or, you know, too understimulating.

Many of my friends have said comments like, I really like this person, but there's no

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