I think whether you've been married for 30 days or for 30 years

Every couple knows when the argument starts to turn for the worst. It's like the milk you left out all night

You kind of know like it's turned

stinks

But you know you get that feeling like it's a little chunkier a little sour lemon milk

No, but every couple knows when when you're when you're talking and you're realizing oh this is not just a conversation

We're not just disagreeing now now. It's turning into an argument because I feel my own heels digging in you are wrong

I am right. I can see that my wife is getting defensive. She's being really touchy and emotional

Reactive maybe maybe a nuclear I don't know nuclear reactive. I don't know anyway. This is it's it's turning

Nothing right now. So in real time we will talk to you on the other side. We will give you five ways to deescalate a fight. All right see there

Well the train almost got away from me there's a little runaway train

Almost goodness goodness. Yeah, so deescalation I think is a skill that

If you can learn it, I think it can bear dividends

Pay dividends long into the future of your relationship if you can just learn to recognize when

things are going sideways and

remind yourself remind your spouse that

We don't have to go down this road that we can actually well. Yeah, there's other things that we can so replacing those

Like you said, I think just recognizing what's happening and

Trusting that we don't have to go down that path because we have

Other reasons we have ways to cope and deal in a healthy way to kind of turn away from that consistent

Fight or whatever we're facing but yeah deescalation I think is I feel like it's such a ministry tool because you can feel yourself getting heated

You can feel yourself ready to fight and then all of a sudden it's like if something said or a deep breath is taken

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