5-a-side shouters, relentless Continental whistling... and what's the best name for a second division?

For Our Sins: The Clichés Pod Archive

The Athletic

Soccer,, Sports

4.8 • 538 Ratings

🗓️ 13 April 2023

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain the listeners' April entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, with the Clichés faithful nominating their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are being the self-appointed "shouter" at 5-a-side, the quaint radio practice of commentators telling you which team is playing "from right to left", the intricate game within a game of winning a corner off a defender's shins, the out-of-possession whistling of Continental home crowds and a comprehensive cataloguing of every possible naming convention for second-tier leagues in world football.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoys "the most Neil Warnock thing ever heard in a Hollywood action film".

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Transcript

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0:00.0	The Athletic.
0:05.0	I'm sorry, you can sit there and look and play with all your silly machines as much as you like.
0:10.0	Is gas going to have a crack?
0:12.0	He is, you know.
0:13.0	Oh, he's there!
0:15.0	Brilliant!
0:19.0	He's ran the goalkeeper!
0:21.2	He's done it!
0:22.9	Absolutely incredible!
0:24.8	He launched himself six feet into the crowd, and Kung Fu kicked, a supporter who was eyewit without a shadow of an out giving him lip.
0:35.4	Oh, I say!
0:37.3	It's amazing! It does it tame, and tame, getting him lip. Oh, I say, it's amazing.
0:38.5	It does it tame and tame and tame again.
0:41.4	Crank up the music.
0:43.5	Charge a glass.
0:45.4	This nation is going to dance all night.
0:49.0	The most Neil Warnock thing ever heard in a Hollywood action film.
0:53.1	Being the self-appointed
0:54.2	shouter at Five Aside, radio commentators telling us which team is playing from right to left,
0:59.4	the intricate game within a game of winning a corner off the shins of a defender,
1:03.4	the disingenuous rewriting of history when a player shoots from an angle with a teammate in the middle,
1:08.3	and a comprehensive cataloging of every possible naming
	...

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