Welcome to this week's edition of the Better Rivals podcast.

My name is Oscar Oparicio, and this week, the 49ers try to make up some ground in the NFC West.

They host the Arizona Cardinals, but this time with a little help from their healthy friends.

And with me this week, unleashing his pet monkey on trick-or-treaters everywhere, it's David Newman.

Hell yeah. Why not, right?

Look, you must be familiar about this story now.

Bagley, yes.

For the uninitiated, this is basically all I've been thinking about.

Since it happened, I've been thinking about nothing else then,

the University of Texas coach that has a girlfriend whom he left his wife for, who is or was a stripper,

with, she went by the name pole assassin, and she has a pet monkey that is a part of her act,

and this pet monkey bit a child during a Halloween maze. And I mean,

basically, it's the only thing I've been able to think about since I heard about this,

like it right after Halloween. The story has layers. What happened to the monkey?

I have no idea.

I mean, I don't know.

If this is anything like friends, then they'll just send the monkey away to a zoo

and the special teams coach will pine after it and eventually get reunited with it.

But, you know, life doesn't always imitate friends, I guess.

Look, man, all I'm saying is if a monkey bit my daughter, me and that monkey would be fucking throwing down. All I'm saying is

that monkey, you know, it's a little bit like Kyla Murray, small, shifty, and probably a little

bit more aggressive than you give it credit for. I'm sure. No, I expect,

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