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The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

498: Dating Yourself: The Ultimate Self Worth Reset

The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

Michelle Chalfant

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.91.6K Ratings

🗓️ 19 February 2026

⏱️ 56 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today, I'm joined by Sonia Flores, someone I've known and worked with for years, and after a team meeting where she dropped a phrase that stopped us all in our tracks, I knew we had to bring it to the podcast. The term is "Mantourage Dating," and it's a powerful way to date from self-worth, boundaries, and grounded confidence.

This conversation is about dating, but it's also about so much more. If you're not dating, don't skip this episode. What Sonia shares applies to long-term partnerships, marriages, and every relationship you have, because the real shift happens when you stop making it about them and start making it about you.

In this episode, we explore: 

  • How "Mantourage Dating" works and why it helps you stay grounded
  • Why dating gets easier when you stop chasing outcomes and focus on your own experience
  • The mindset shift that changed everything for Sonia
  • How to date with clear standards, boundaries, and self-respect
  • Why having a list of what you want (places, experiences, energy) keeps you out of people-pleasing
  • How self-worth changes what you tolerate, what you attract, and what you choose
  • Why this concept applies even if you're already in a committed relationship

 

Resources from this Episode:

Learn more about Sonia:

Website: https://www.bluechakrastudio.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bluechakrastudio

Podcast: https://apple.co/3G50aQC

 

MORE MICHELLE CHALFANT

Website: https://www.michellechalfant.com

Membership: The Adult Chair Collective
https://www.michellechalfant.com/collective 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Let me ask you something. Have you done the work, read the books, listen to the podcast, and you

0:07.7

still snap back into that old version of you when someone pushes the wrong button? You know better,

0:15.7

but in the moment, you react. You people please, over-explain, or shut down. This is not a character flaw. It's a

0:24.5

nervous system pattern. And patterns don't change with insight. They change with repetition and

0:31.7

regulation. This is exactly what we're doing in metamorphosis, March 13th through 15th in Charlotte, North

0:40.1

Carolina.

0:41.0

This is a three-day immersive experience where we are going to rewire the unconscious survival

0:48.0

programs running your life, teach you how to regulate before you react, help you stop abandoning yourself in real conversations,

0:58.2

and anchor a new identity that does not collapse under pressure. This is not a motivational seminar.

1:06.1

This is embodied change. Go to theadaltjare.com forward slash live event and grab your seat.

1:14.8

This is three days, one identity shift, and a whole new you. I'll see you in Charlotte.

1:24.4

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Michelle Shelfont Show. So today on the show, I'm sitting down with

1:31.0

Sonia Flores, and we're talking about something that immediately changed how I think about

1:37.2

dating and relationships. It's called Mantraaj Dating. I'm not sure if you've heard that term before.

1:43.2

I had not. Sonia shares how after

1:46.1

years of frustrating dating, and I want to say this straight up, this is not just a show about dating.

1:52.1

This is very much a show around building yourself worth and the relationship that you have with yourself

1:59.8

in any relationship.

2:02.5

So if you're someone that's not dating, still have a listen, because this applies to you as well.

2:08.4

But she made a powerful shift, and it was an internal shift, when it came to dating.

2:15.2

And she's going to talk to us about exactly what she did to attract the person

2:21.1

into her life that she is still with three years later. So we talk about what it looks like to

...

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