496: The Fear Successful People Don't Talk About [Poolside Confessions]
School of Self-Image
Tonya Leigh
4.8 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 3 June 2026
⏱️ 11 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Welcome to Poolside Confessions, my summer series where we gather around the pool and I confess the things I've been thinking, feeling, and experiencing – in hopes of normalizing these conversations and helping you know you're not alone.
Today's confession is one that almost every successful woman I've ever talked to has felt at some point. The fear of losing it all.
When I first started my business, my fears looked different. Am I good enough? Will I make it? What will people think? And in the back of my mind was this big fantasy of arrival – that when I finally hit a certain number, built a certain life, I'd feel safe. Secure. Like I'd finally made it.
You get there. And a new fear is waiting. The bigger the building you've built, the harder the ego whispers about the fall.
So many women end up creating a life their younger selves would have been so proud of – and they can't even enjoy it because they're too busy white-knuckling it. Too afraid it's all going to be taken away.
In this episode, I'm walking you through the practices that have set me free from this fear – and that I've watched set other women free, too.
Here's what we cover:
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Why the fear of losing it all shows up the moment you finally build something you love
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The thought pattern that keeps successful women exhausted and unable to enjoy what they've created
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How to entertain the worst-case scenario… so you can finally make peace with it
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The compassion practice I use with the scared little girl inside of me
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Why getting clear on what is enough brings relief
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How to stop building a prison out of your own success
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The truth about freedom… and why it was never about the money
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How to Connect with Tonya Leigh
Website: https://schoolofselfimage.com/
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#poolsideconfessions #becomeunrecognizable #selfimagetransformation
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello, friends. Welcome to my summer podcast series that I am calling poolside confessions, where |
| 0:06.0 | we gather around my pool and I confess things. I confess things that I've been thinking, |
| 0:12.3 | feeling, experiencing, and hopes that we can normalize these conversations so that you'll know |
| 0:17.6 | you're not alone. Because it's when you know you're not alone and you realize, |
| 0:22.1 | oh my God, this happens to everyone that you start giving yourself more grace and you are able to move |
| 0:27.6 | through these situations with more awareness and more clarity. Now, with that said, I have to admit |
| 0:34.5 | something. When I decided to do this summer series, I did not really take the weather |
| 0:40.0 | into account. I just knew I wanted to be outside more this summer. In North Carolina, in the summer, |
| 0:45.4 | it gets hot and humid. It has rained for the past three days, and right now it is so humid. I feel like |
| 0:52.0 | my face is going to melt off, and who knows what's happening with my hair. But as I say in France, say la Vie, this is life. And the show must go on. |
| 1:00.3 | And so it shall. Now, let's dive into the fear that successful people have that we need to talk about. |
| 1:09.8 | Welcome to the School of Self Imageimage, where our motto is simple. |
| 1:13.9 | Elevate your self-image, elevate your life. |
| 1:16.7 | I'm Tanya Lee, your hostess, and I'll guide you to become the woman who doesn't just dream |
| 1:20.8 | bigger. |
| 1:21.6 | She lives bigger. |
| 1:23.0 | Let's dive in. |
| 1:26.3 | When I first started my business, I did not have the fear that I'm going to talk about |
| 1:32.8 | today. I had different fears. It was the fear of, am I going to succeed? Am I going to make it? |
| 1:38.3 | Am I good enough? What will people think? It was all those types of fears. And in the back of my mind, and this happens |
| 1:46.0 | to almost every single person without this awareness, but in the back of my mind, I had this |
| 1:52.2 | big fantasy of arrival. When I finally make a certain amount of money, when I finally create |
... |
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